We all know Shakespeare’s Hamlet is famous for a number of quotes, and “To friend or not to friend” isn’t actually one of them. But it is an important question that many divorced people have to ask themselves in this Facebook age. Believe it or not, it is a hard question to answer. While this is a question you must answer yourself, our goal is to break it down for you so that you are better able to determine the answer that best suits your circumstances.
If you and your ex parted ways on good terms, you should consider remaining friends on facebook. Afterall, if you’re still friends in real life, or at least can hold a civil conversation and are able to be pleasant to one another, then why not?
Also, if you want to know what is going on in your ex’s life because you are concerned about the new relationship they are in as it relates to your children, then it’s probably best to keep your ex as a Facebook friend. You may not be interested in all of the things that they post, but if you believe that their new partner may be putting your children at risk, then any and all information that you have access to is a good thing.
Not To Friend…
If your divorce wasn’t something that you wanted, but you weren’t given much choice in the matter, then you are probably better off unfriending your ex on all social media platforms. At this point, they have gone to great lengths to remove you from their life, and so unfriending them may help you to move on and make a new life for yourself. Having to look at their happy-without-you pictures and I-don’t-need-you-anymore posts probably won’t help your healing process in any way.
If your divorce was highly contested, and you still can’t see your ex’s face without working yourself into a rage, then you might also be better off unfriending them. There’s no point giving yourself an ulcer simply because their pictures and online banter are showing up in your home feed.
Friend but Unfollow…
The last option is to remain friends, but to “unfollow” them, so that while you still have access to their page, you no longer have to see any of their posts pop up in your feed.This may be best for someone who is still grieving after a divorce and struggling with strong emotions, but is taking active steps towards achieving healing and moving on. That way, once you feel that you are in a better place, you can choose to follow their posts again, if you want to.
We hope that this was helpful to you. Divorce can be very hard, and knowing all of the right moves after it’s over is almost impossible. But a good divorce attorney during the process can make the aftermath a whole lot more manageable.