10 Warning Signs Your Marriage May Fail (Part Two)

Are there warning signs of a failing marriage that you can look out for? Yes!

 

In this two part series we are looking at some of the more common reasons people’s marriages end up in divorce court. Often it’s issues that start small and seem to be ordinary, everyday problems. But like so many things in life, if you don’t deal with them, they become major problems. Problems that could destroy the “happily ever after” you agreed to on your wedding day, if you don’t address them before they morph out of control. Having already talked about 1 through 5, we are going to pick up where we left off…

 

  1. Continental Drift…

If you or your spouse are beginning to fill up your free time with things that keep you apart, then disengagement has begun and only an active commitment to making your marriage work will save the relationship. Couples need to have friendships outside of each other, and retain some individual pursuits. But if they are happening more and more often of late, and replacing the time that you would otherwise have spent together, then those pursuits could indicate a problem

 

  1. Sticks and Stones…

Words can hurt. If your spouse is frequently critical and unkind to you, it’s the kind of thing that can quickly erode love and trust in a marriage. Verbal abuse, while often overlooked because it leaves no marks, can be just as damaging. A spouse who feels diminished by their partner’s words, and suffers from low self esteem as a result of verbal cruelty, is not a happy spouse. Unhappy spouses mean unhappy marriages, and unhappy marriages often mean divorce.

 

  1. Rose Tinted Glasses…

If you can see that there are problems in your relationship, but you’re the only one who seems to have any interest in fixing them, you may be on the road to divorce court. Refusing to address problems, and dismissing issues by trivializing them or acting as if they are not genuine concerns will only result in relationship failure. A relationship takes two people, and only if both people are invested in it’s success will it succeed. You cannot fix a broken marriage on your own, no matter how hard you may try.

  1. Feel the Lust…

Sexual Intimacy plays a very big role in happy marriages. If you and your spouse have vastly different libidos, and cannot find a way to accommodate each other, you may be in for trouble. Insufficient intimacy, or more “no” than “yes” when it comes to sexual satisfaction can put a real strain on a relationship. For relationships that aren’t very strong in other areas, this may end up being the straw that broke the camel’s back, as it were.

 

  1. Engage the Defenses…

Defense mechanisms are put in place when people believe that they are at risk of being wounded. But those same defense mechanisms, while they make a person feel safer, can also shut others out and keep relationships from maturing. If your spouse is really defensive, cannot handle it when you express concerns, or gives you the silent treatment every time you point out an issue, you may be in trouble. Allowing defense mechanisms, especially ones that include meanness and violence, to get the better of your relationship, will ultimately result in divorce.

 

We hope this list has been helpful to you in determining if your marriage is in trouble. If however, the trouble has been brewing for a while now, and you’re already trying to figure out who will be keeping the china and Aunt Sally’s antique lamp, we are here to help you pick up the pieces and move on to a better future. Call us today at

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