Welcome back and thanks for joining us. We’ve been talking about the issue of custody, and how parents who are preparing to go to war over the issue of who gets the kids, should have a handbook full of pointers and tips to help them make good choices. But since there isn’t a how-to-survive-your-custody-battle handbook, we thought we’d put together this list with our top 8 tips for divorcing parents. You’re welcome.
If you remember from the previous article, we looked at the first four items on the list, namely getting a good attorney, staying civil in all your dealings with your ex, being an involved parent, and keeping good records. But that was then and this is now, so let’s move on. Here are the other four items on our list of stuff you need to keep in mind going tinto this custody battle so that you don’t undermine your own efforts:
5. Don’t discuss the issue with your children
Yes we get it – your kids ARE involved. But that’s not what we mean here. Children don’t understand the complexities of the law, or even why their family is falling apart. They’re probably already having a hard time with the divorce, and the last thing they need is is you saying terrible things about their other parent. Or worse, trying to manipulate the outcome by using them to spy and tattle on their other parent. Remember, nothing good comes from this. Whether you alienate their other parent (or yourself!) or make the Judge question your moral judgement, you’re not doing yourself (or your kids) any favors by involving them in the mechanics of a custody case.
6. Understand Michigan family law
Some things are obvious, and don’t require explanation. But that’s rarely the case when it comes to the law. So if you have questions about what your rights are, or what you should expect during the process, talk to your attorney. Ask questions, do some research, and stay informed. The more you know, the more you can adjust your expectations, and make sound choices that will help your case in the future.
7. Don’t make stupid foibles online
The best thing to engage in online when involved in a custody battle, is a social media blackout. Yes, you read that right – the less you post online, the better off you’ll be. You’d be amazed at how many innocent posts, shares and pictures can damage a person’s chances at custody. Whether it’s a check in at a bar where you had a drink with coworkers, to a single snarky comment made in response to something someone said online, it doesn’t take much to make you look bad in front of a judge. So make a point of cutting yourself off from social media, because a single slip up can be turned against you in a heartbeat.
8. Behave when you’re in the courtroom.
There are rules for how someone has to act in the courtroom, and they’re there for a reason. Arguing with the Judge, making snarky comments when it’s not your turn to talk, or getting mad when you’re not getting what you want are all big no-nos. Not only can they get you arrested for being in contempt of court, but they can make you look like you can’t control yourself. The Judge can easily decide that you don’t deserve to have your kids! So find out what the rules are, and then follow them!
Custody concerns are a big deal for all divorcing parents.
Fighting for custody is a very stressful, and very complicated process. It can be so easy to throw caution to the wind and rush in to do what you think is best, but that could actually make things worse. So after finding yourself a really good attorney with lots of experience, make sure you follow their advice. If you have any other questions or concerns about the process, call 866 766 5245 and talk to us about them. We’re here 24/7 to help.