So you and your spouse fight all the time. You can’t seem to have more than a three minute conversation before it dissolves into an argument. In fact, you seem to trigger each other all the time. And now you don’t even want to spent time together anymore. And who could blame you? If every discussion becomes a yelling match or ends in the silent treatment. But you have kids, so you have to stick it out, because kids always do better with two parents in the same home, right? Well…. Maybe not.
Many couples stay together for the sake of their children!
The decision to stay married or get divorced during a time of immense conflict is likely to be one of the hardest choices you’ll make during the course of your marriage. Even more so if you have kids. There are many couples who choose to stay together for the benefit of their children, even though their marriage is severely unhappy. Why? Because they believe they’re choosing what’s best for their children.
But is it really the better option for kids?
It’s understandable why parents would think they’re doing their kids a favor by staying together, even if they can barely stand each other. Studies show that children raised in stable, loving, two parent homes deal with less depression, anxiety and rebellious behavior. They also usually get better grades, and have a greater capacity for intimate relationships. Which means that all parents should stay together for their kids, even if they’re desperately unhappy, right?
Wrong. Because those same studies show that kids raised in two parent homes where there’s constant conflict are more likely to struggle with stress and defiant behavior. They’re also more likely to have more problems with discipline than children raised in stable and loving single parent homes. So maybe “together” isn’t the key word here. Maybe “happy and stable” have more to do with the outcome than simply “together”.
What’s the right answer for children?
If the studies are correct, and children do better when their parents get divorced rather than stay in a relationship which is full of anger, arguing and instability, is divorce really the best answer? The truth is, there’s no “correct” answer to that question, and no easy choice. Divorce is difficult, no matter what the circumstances are. So before making that decision, and keeping in mind how it may impact your children, there are a few things you should consider.
Join us next time as we look at the list of things parents should consider when they’re unhappy in their marriages, but want to do what’s right for their kids. Until then, if you’re considering divorce and have questions about the process, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245. Our skilled family law attorneys can walk you through every aspect of the process, and help prepare you for what lies ahead.