Thanks for joining us again for this discussion on whether it’s better to stay married, even if you’re unhappy, for your kid’s benefit. As we noted in the previous article, studies have shown that kids who grow up in stable and loving two parent homes tend to fare better in life than kids from divorced families. But as we said before, “stable and loving” are the keywords, not “together.”
If together means constant conflict and fighting, you may not be doing your kids a favor. So if you’re very unhappy in your marriage, and are considering divorce but are concerned about your kids well being, you might be worried about what the right choice is. Don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many parents worry about how to do right by their kids in these types of situations. With that in mind, we’ve created a list of questions you should ask yourself before making any life-changing decision!
What’s causing the conflict, and is it temporary or permanent?
All relationships go through ups and downs, so it’s perfectly normal for a marriage to have periods of difficulty and doubt. Ask yourself whether the issues you and your spouse are facing come from something that could be resolved in time, or is it an ongoing problem for which you see no resolution. How you view the problem will affect how you see the solution.
Can this problem be solved through “third party mediation”?
If you and your spouse are willing to invest the time in trying to save your relationship, but don’t know how to go about it, there are many avenues available to you. These include counseling or therapy, books on relationships, and couples retreats. Many relationships can be saved from the brink of dissolution as long as both parties haven’t lost hope or interest. Decide where you stand before you decide which direction to go in.
Are you compatible as a couple, or are you together for the wrong reasons?
This is often the hardest question to answer because only you and your spouse really know the truth. Ask yourself whether or not you want to save this relationship and why. Ask your spouse to ask themselves the same questions. Give some thought to your relationship’s history and potential future before deciding what you want. Do you really love you spouse? Do you see yourself with them for the rest of your life. Whatever the answer is, ask yourself why, and then be honest.
What are the pros and cons of both options?
There will be benefits to staying together, and benefits to getting divorced. It’s very important that you weigh the pros and cons of each option carefully before making your choice. Divorce is a life-altering decision which shouldn’t be made impulsively.
Who’s really behind this decision, me or someone else?
Getting a divorce is a deeply personal choice that should be made because you and your spouse both firmly believe that your relationship can’t be saved. It shouldn’t be made because your friends or family are pushing for a certain outcome. While they may care very much about your well being and want what is best for you, this is a personal choice that you need to make for yourself.
Are you considering getting divorced?
Divorce is hard. It’s hard on the spouses, and it’s harder on the children. Sometimes it’s the right answer, and sometimes it’s not. Only you and your spouse can make that choice. But when deciding, keep in mind your children and their futures. They will be affected by the process and outcome of your decisions, whatever that may be. So it’s always better to weigh your options carefully.
Decisions made out of a desire to better everyone’s lives, as opposed to decisions made in anger or spite, will have far better results for everyone involved. Once you’ve reached your decision, if you’re ready to end your marriage, come and talk to the skilled family law attorneys at The Kronzek Firm. We can be reached 24/7 at 866 766 5245, and can help you work through every aspect of your divorce process.