So you’re spouse thinks you’re cheating on them. So the first question you need to ask yourself is why. Why would they think that? If the answer is: “Because I am!” then you may be in a spot of trouble, and we recommend ending your affair as quickly as possible, unless you’re hoping to end up in divorce court! But if you aren’t “stepping out” on your spouse, you might need to spend a little time addressing their concerns.
Why does your marriage partner think you’re cheating on your vows?
Have you started a new project at work that suddenly requires a lot more of your time and energy? Have you recently struck up a new friendship with an individual or group that you want to spent more time with? Or perhaps your spouse is simply paranoid and it doesn’t take much to make them suspicious. Whatever the reason, there’s probably something you can do to address it.
If the issue is extra work:
If you’ve taken on additional projects at work, or are working more overtime because of an increased workload, your spouse may be wondering about your increased absences. Obviously explaining your situation isn’t good enough, or they would have taken your work for it and we wouldn’t be having this conversation, but there are a few options for things you can try to resolve the issue:
- Offer to have your spouse stop by your job whenever they feel the need. Perhaps suggesting they swing by and bring a meal to share after hours, or stopping by for a quick unscheduled visit with the kids before bedtime, will help alleviate their worries.
- Discuss your concerns with a coworker who your spouse likes and trusts. Ask your coworker to discuss the extra workload you’ve taken on with your spouse. However, make sure to have them introduce the subject in a nonchalant way, so that your spouse doesn’t think your coworker is “covering for you!”
- Find out if there is any way you can do some of your work from home. Not every job offers the opportunity to work from home, but if your workload is something you can split between home and work, it might be worth it for your spouse’s peace of mind!
If the issue is new friends:
Perhaps you’ve joined a running group, or taken up photography and you want to go out on shoots with a local photo club. Maybe you’ve got a new coworker whose hilarious, and you want to spend a little more time hanging out with the team after work. Whatever the reason, your spouse may be feeling insecure about your sudden desire to be away from home.
- The simplest solution is to invite your spouse to join the social outing, or tag along on whatever new hobby you’re pursuing. If they think you’ve got nothing to hide by inviting them, they’ll likely stop being suspicious of you!
- Another simple solution is evidence. Coming home straight after your run, so that your sweat and stinky socks are immediately evident, will go a long way. Showing your spouse the pictures you just took and asking their advice, or telling them funny stories about the people in your new group. (Sharing pics with them on social media of your get togethers wouldn’t hurt either!)
Sometimes they’re just looking for an excuse to pull the plug!
Your spouse may not really think you’re cheating, they may simply be looking for a reason to call it quits. Some people don’t feel right about filing for divorce unless there’s a “valid reason”, and they’re hoping you’ll provide one for them. If that’s the case, you may not want to be in this relationship anymore anyway!
Join us next time, as we continue this discussion about what to do if your spouse thinks you’re cheating! Until then, you or a loved one have reached the end of your rope in your marriage, and you’re ready to call it quits (with or without any affairs), we’re here to help. Call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245. Our skilled family law attorneys can help you with all of your divorce concerns, including child custody, asset division, and alimony.