Can You Save Your Marriage After One of You Cheats? (Pt 3)

After a spouse cheats, the road to recovery for that marriage will be long and hard, but it’s not impossible!


Welcome back. We’ve been talking about how to salvage a marriage after one spouse cheats. Some couple want to work through the fallout and save their marriages. Others are too hurt and angry to see the relationship as something they could salvage. Both are entirely valid responses to an infidelity, and only you can decide which path is right for you.


In our previous two articles we’ve discussed being honest with yourself about why you wanted to save your marriage, and the importance of rebuilding trust. Moving on, we still have a lot of ground to cover. So let’s take a look at the next issue on our list: – the importance of being transparent.


Transparency is critical if you want your spouse to trust to you in future!


Once you’ve cheated on your partner, the only way to regain their trust is to be completely transparent. However, while transparency may sound like just another word for honesty, it isn’t. Being transparent in your dealings has more to do with the way you choose to live. Essentially, it means not hiding anything, and living your life in a way that, if you were to be closely inspected by someone else, you could withstand the scrutiny.


If you were the spouse you cheated, you need to make peace with the fact that your husband or wife is going to be suspicious and unwilling to trust you for a while to come. Regardless of how unpleasant this may be, you can hardly blame them. So choosing to live your life in a transparent way, goes a long way towards giving you credibility and rebuilding trust. Even if for now, it’s sometimes frustrating.


Transparency is about how you act, even when they’re not there.


We’re not suggesting that you drag your spouse to work with you so they can oversee your daily interactions with coworkers, or having them listen in on every phone conversation you have. That isn’t realistic for either of you.


What we mean is that you make a conscious decision to conduct all of your daily activities as if your spouse were right there. That way, you’ll have nothing to hide if they ever happen to wonder. This way they’ll have no new reasons to suspect that you’re being deceitful.


Electronic transparency is important as well!


Giving your spouse the passwords to your email and twitter accounts, online gaming accounts, and any social media accounts you keep will also help ease their mind and provide a sense of accountability. This is a hard one, we know, but it can go a long way towards easing your spouse’s mind.


Allowing your spouse the freedom to check your text history, or rifle around in your Facebook messages is very hard. It can even cause you to feel resentful at times. Discuss your struggles with your spouse, if it helps. But remember: if your marriage is going to be saved, they need to know you’re trustworthy MORE than you need to feel your privacy is being honored.


This can be a difficult process, we understand that, especially for those of us living in a culture that puts great emphasis on personal privacy. However understand that uncomfortable and intrusive as it may feel at times, it will not last forever. And if you’ve decided that saving your marriage is more important at this time, then this is a part of that process.


Saving a marriage after an affair is hard work!

Remember, saving a relationship after an affair is extremely hard work! And for some couples, it’s simply too much. If that sound like your situation, and you don’t believe your marriage can recover from the deceit, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245. Our skilled family law attorneys have helped countless couples navigate their divorces over the years. We understand how emotional this situation can be, and we’re committed to providing our clients with the best and most aggressive representation available in Michigan! Also, join us again next time to discuss addressing the past.