Thanks for joining us again for this discussion on the chemistry of love. So far we’ve established that love is chemical in nature, and that we’re subject to the chemical whims of our brains. So in the face of such complex chemical motivations for behavior and changing emotions, what can a person do to ensure the success of their relationship?
What happens to love as time passes?
The struggle tends to happen a few years in, when the feelings of euphoric and passionate love have faded. This leaves many people wondering what happened to that amazing person they fell in love with. Suddenly we see their faults. Things that they did before that we wrote off as being cute quirks or funny little idiosyncrasies, are now irritating habits and annoying personality traits. What happened? Why did they change?
The truth is, they didn’t! What really changed was the chemistry in your brain. When you are no longer viewing your partner through rose tinted dopamine spectacles, you’re far more likely to see them for what they are – a regular person with faults and foibles. Where leaving the toilet seat up and the cap off the toothpaste were minor issues before, now they feel like major personal problems.
The chemistry is different, but love hasn’t faded…
Hopefully by now though, the two of you have bonded well enough for long enough. If so, your relationship should be strong enough to survive the transition from one chemical state to the next. What’s important now is to invest in the things that you know will strengthen your feelings for each other.
- physical touch,
- sexual intimacy,
- pursuing physical activity together
- Doing things you enjoy together
- Laughing together
In addition, you need to face the truth and embrace it! Acknowledge that the ‘passionate love’ stage of your relationship may have passed (as it was intended to), but that doesn’t mean you traded it in for an inferior model. Romance, intimacy and lasting love are not just possible, they’re probable…IF you focus on what really matters! That means loving each other intentionally, and strengthening your relationship in ways that work for you.
Sometimes love isn’t enough!
In reality though, this doesn’t always work. Sometimes a relationship doesn’t survive the ravages of time. Sometimes a couple isn’t able to bond well as the years pass, and they find themselves growing apart. If this sounds like your situation, and you’re considering a divorce, call our experienced family law attorneys at 866 766 5245. We’ve spent decades helping the people of mid-Michigan t resolve their family issues and move on to brighter futures. We can help you too.