Luggage or Baggage? What Have You “Packed” For Your Marriage? (Part 2)

What did you pack for your marriage? Luggage? Or baggage?


Welcome back. We’ve been talking about the differences between luggage and baggage, as metaphors for what you bring into your marriage. Refresher course: luggage would be good listening skills, kindness, patience and respect, while ‘baggage’ is a rotten temper, meanness, being overly critical, and nagging.


As we pointed out in the previous article, packing the wrong things into your bag means that when you get started on your marriage, you’ll discover you don’t have the things you need to make it work. (Remember the snow suit, the AK-47 and the potato peeler? Definitely not what you need on your tropical island getaway!) So what do you do now?


People rarely pack the right things for their relationship destination!


One of the most common reasons for divorce, is the breakdown of the relationship. In other words, lack of communication, lack of shared interests and common goals, and lack of love. And these things tend to become issues much more quickly when people discover their spouse brought a bunch of terrible ‘baggage’ into the marriage.


When you think about it, it’s hardly surprising. Making a relationship work well is difficult when you’re both dragging all kinds of baggage around from your earlier failed relationships. Being overly critical, distrusting your spouse, not controlling your temper, and being unwilling to listen all contribute to a miserable marriage. And you can be sure that divorce will follow.


So how to you unpack and repack your bags?


So when you look at it from that perspective, if your marriage is feeling lackluster and you’re wondering if it’s sliding into disrepair, ask yourself this: What did you pack to bring along on your marriage? Useful and positive skills? Tools to ensure success? Or are you lugging around a bag full of destructive and unnecessary emotional burdens that are damaging your relationship? Be honest with yourself.


If the answer wasn’t one you liked hearing, then chances are you need to do a little repacking. The question is how. Well, in truth, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It all depends on what you’ve got tucked away in there. Maybe seeing a therapist would help you overcome some of your troubles. Perhaps a few well recommended books on how to be a good listener would help. Perhaps the simple act of trying to practice the art of kindness on a daily basis will make a difference. Once you’ve figured out what’s in your suitcase, it’ll be a little easier to unpack it.


What happens if your spouse refuses to repack their bags?


It’s all very well if you’ve made every effort to have all the right stuff on vacation, and your spouse couldn’t be bothered to even try. It’s no good working hard to trade all of those unneeded and unwanted items in your bag, if your spouse if going to lug around a bag full of mismatched shoes, bent forks, and a broken lawnmower.

So if it looks like your vacation is headed for disaster, despite your best efforts, call our skilled divorce lawyers at 866 766 5245. We’re available 24/7 to help you sort out your troubles, and prepare for a better and brighter future (maybe even with someone who does a way better job of packing their bags!)