Welcome back and thanks for joining us as we unpack the most common problems facing married couples today. Thus far in this series we’ve looked at the three biggest issues most couples face, namely money, sex and communication issues. Though while these three are certainly the more common causes of marital strife, they are by no means the only ones! Moving on we are going to be looking at another source of marital problems – domestic duties.
There are few couples who don’t at some point or another in their marriage, have a disagreement about who does what, and how often it should be done. Occasional disagreements are normal and no cause for concern. But when this particular issue is the source of regular and ongoing resentment, which leads to lasting marriage problems, it needs to be addressed.
This ain’t the 50’s, baby!
According to a 1955 Good Housekeeping article on how to be a good wife, a wife’s duties include a number of domestic ones. “Having a delicious meal on the table when he walks in the door after a long day at the office”, “touching up your make-up so you’ll be fresh when he comes home”, and “preparing the children” which includes making sure that they are neat and clean for his arrival. After all, “catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction”. Or so the article says.
It’s not the 50’s anymore, folks! In this day and age, more women work and more men help out out at home than ever before. So our expectations have changed, and with that, our understanding of what is fair and equal in a marriage. Can it actually solve the problem though?
Modern marriage – is it always better?
A study conducted just a few years ago in Norway shows that the more a husband does around the house, the higher a couple’s chance of divorce. Crazy, you think? Well, perhaps, but the evidence is rather compelling. Researchers have said that while they couldn’t find a direct link between housework and divorce, they could see the correlation within the context of values.
Couples who had a more traditional view of marriage, which tended to include a female dominated housework routine, had far fewer divorces. Couples who focused more on a fair division of labor, and were more modern in their thinking, viewed marriage as being less sacred. So, what does that mean for you?
Love and laundry, cooking and caring:
Perhaps the best solution is to sit down with your spouse and practice those good old communication skills. Talk about what works best for your individual schedules. Discuss what each of you would prefer to do, versus what you just can’t stand doing. Try to be open to your partner’s perspective, and be willing to compromise.
Laundry is rarely the most exciting thing you are going to do in your day, and not everybody loves to cook. If you and your spouse are committed to preserving your relationship, and care about each other’s well being, then with a little bit of give and take, this issue can be resolved without having to hire an attorney.
In the next segment we are going to address the next subject on the list – Trust. It’s a very important part of a happy, lasting marriage, and yet it can be a very sore point for many people. Come back next time for a quick rundown on how to preserve and maintain marital trust. Until then, if you simply can’t stick it out and need help preparing for your solo future, call our experienced divorce attorneys at 866 766 5245. We are here to help you pick up the pieces and move on to a brighter future.