We’re almost there, guys! One more in our series on common marital problems, and then we’ll be done. (And hopefully by then your marriage will be in a better place!) Thus far we’ve covered five of the most common marital sticking points, namely communication, sex, money, domestic chores, and trust. But now we are moving on to another important one – prioritizing your marriage.
Prioritizing Your Marriage
It is so easy to get caught up in all of your commitments and not notice that time is slipping by. Between jobs, children, errands, domestic chores and extended family obligations, life can be insanely busy. So for many couples, prioritizing their marriage is often the last thing on their list. Though while it’s easy to let it slide, the consequences can be very destructive to your relationship.
Mr and Mrs Spouse:
There is a well known poem by Eve Merriam that begins: “In the house of Mr & Mrs Spouse, He and she would watch tv, And never a word between them spoken, Until the day the set was broken”. Ultimately, Mr & Mrs Spouse introduced themselves, discovered that they shared the same name, and were just wondering if they may be related, when the tv reception returned. In the end, they never did find out.
Silly and preposterous, yes, but it does a rather good job of illustrating a point. Couples get so caught up in the lives they are living, that they often forget to take time for their marriage. Over the years, if this becomes the status quo, eventually they end up like strangers in the same house.
Relationships are Like Flowers:
They are to be watered if they are to grow. In the same way that you would cultivate a field if you were hoping to produce a viable harvest, so you need to cultivate your marriage if it’s going to bear fruit. A marriage is a relationship, and like all relationships, it requires regular interaction in order to remain productive, enjoyable and strong.
Imagine being too busy to see your best friend. No more discussing what’s going on in your life. No more time spent together. No more conversations, relaxing together, or pursuing hobbies with one another. Over time, that person would probably stop being your best friend, and slide down the relationship ladder to the level of ‘acquaintance’. It’s the same with a spouse. If you don’t make time for your marriage, your spouse will eventually become a stranger to you.
Life is busy. We get it. (No really, we do – we’re attorneys! We work very long hours, so we understand.) Regardless, you need to take time to spend with your spouse if you want your marriage to survive. Set up a weekly or twice monthly date night. Make a point of sharing humorous anecdotes from the day while getting ready for bed in the evening. Put down your phones and talk to each other at the dinner table.
The catch is, you have to be intentional about it. You can’t just hope it will happen on it’s own. You need to make a point of planning to invest time in your marriage, of setting aside evenings or periods of time that work for both of you, in order to be together. Take a walk, go fishing, drink coffee on the deck, go out to dinner. Whatever it takes, make sure that you set aside time for just you and your spouse, free from interruptions, and then honor it. You will be glad one day, to not end up like Mr and Mrs Spouse.
Next time wraps up the series with our final installment. So join us next time for the last one – it’ll be worth it, we promise! Until then, if you or a loved one have reached the point in your marriage where you know that it simply cannot be saved, call The Kronzek Firm today at 866 766 5245. WE are here to help you pick up the pieces and move on.