If you follow our blog, then you’re already familiar with the reality of toxic parenting, and parental alienation syndrome (sometimes also called “malicious mother syndrome” or “malicious parent syndrome”) In essence, it’s when a child feels and expresses a very strong dislike (which can even manifest as hatred) for one of their parents, as a result of the toxic manipulation of the other parent.
As awareness grows, more and more courts across Michigan are recognizing the damage parental alienation causes, both to the alienated parent and the child. As such, they are working harder to intervene when this happens. But it’s not a perfect system, and many toxic parents are so good at lying and deceiving others, that their manipulations often go undetected until it’s too late.
How can one parent make their kid hate their other parent?
It seems incongruous. How can you make a child hate someone they love so much? How can you manipulate someone so successfully that you change their mind so completely about someone they respect and care for? Well, there are a lot of different tactics, and we’d like to share some of those ways with you. Because knowledge is power. And the more you know, the better, especially if you’re in a difficult relationship and considering divorce.
Guilt is a powerful motivator. If your child wants to call you while they’re with their toxic parent, the toxic parent will make comments about how the child must love you more, which makes the child feel guilty for wanting to have contact with you. Repeated comments over time, specifically created to make your child feel guilt about wanting to be with you, will create internal conflict. Your child will eventually wrestle with guilt every time they enjoy your company, or miss you. And that can translate into anger, usually directed at you, for being the source of their unpleasant feelings.
One of their most effective tools a toxic parent has is shame. They use it to make your child feel bad about having loving feelings for you. By disparaging you and the people who care for you, the toxic parent makes your child feel stupid, inadequate, or unworthy of love. So they start to hide their feelings from their toxic parent in an effort to please them, and make a greater effort to adopt their poisonous perspective.
The toxic parent can’t afford to buy your kid what they want at the store? It’s your fault. The toxic parent isn’t available to watch their sports games? Your fault. They’re in a bad mood and treating their kids badly? Also somehow your fault. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, your toxic ex will find a way to make every bad thing your doing, and your kids may come to see you as the source of all their problems.
Parental alienation always has more than one victim!
As attorneys who’ve spent decades handling contentious divorces, we understand how destructive this parenting practice can be. We know all the tactics, and are familiar with how to handle this type of situation. Whether we’re helping someone whose the victim of a toxic “other” parent, or someone whose been falsely accused of alienating their child’s other parent. Call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 and let our skilled family law attorneys help you through this. Join us next time for the rest of the list.