Are You Really Ready For a Divorce? (Or Are You Just Mad Right Now?) (pt 1)

Couples fight. But just because you’re angry and hurt, doesn’t mean you’re ready for a divorce…

Have you ever had a big fight with your spouse and thought, “This is it! I can’t deal with this crap anymore! I quit!” And then later, when you’ve both had time to cool down and apologize, you realize you actually love them very much and you’re glad you didn’t make any rash decisions in the moment? Well, you’re not alone. Many people have done that (and many people will continue to do it!) It’s a pretty normal part of marriage. So if right now you’re mad as a snake and searching info about divorce online, we would encourage you to ask yourself this question:

“Are you really looking to end your marriage, or are you just very angry and hurt right now?”

No, we’re not trying to undermine how you feel, or deny value to the hurt you’re experiencing. Maybe your spouse really is a jerk. We don’t know. What we do know, is that we spend a surprising amount of time doing consultations with people who later decide that they never really wanted to get divorced – they were just very angry and felt like calling it quits at the time.

So based on the experience we’ve gathered over the years, talking to thousands of people who do, and don’t end up getting divorced in the end, we’ve compiled this list for our readers. Essentially, it’s a list of thinking points to help you figure out if you’re really ready for divorce, or just processing pain in your divorce and might benefit from some marital counseling.

You know you’re ready for divorce if…

  • When you think about your future, you simply cannot imagine your spouse having any part in it. Essentially, when you plan ahead, your spouse doesn’t feature anywhere in your vision of the future.
  • You’ve reached the point where you’re so unhappy and unfulfilled in your marriage, that you would rather deal with the stress of divorce, and the prospect of being alone and financially less stable, than continue in this relationship.
  • You are the victim of abuse. Whether it’s physical, mental/emotional or sexual, if your spouse is abusing you then it’s time to end this relationship, for your own health.
  • You’ve reached the point where you’re staying in your relationship out of a sense of obligation. Whether it’s because you think it’s better for your kids this way (it probably isn’t!) or a sick parent who’s disappointment you’re hoping to avoid, you should never stay in a marriage because you think it’s “the right thing to do” or someone else will benefit from your misery.
  • You or your spouse are being unfaithful. If your spouse is cheating on you, it’s probably time to get out. If you’re cheating on your spouse, you obviously aren’t invested in your marriage anymore, and you would be better off ending it rather than faking it for years to come.

If you’ve decided you’re ready to get divorced, you’ll need help.

If any part of the list above sounds like your situation, then there’s a good chance you’re ready to call it quits. And if that’s the case, we’re here to help you with each and every part of that process. As highly respected family law attorneys in central Michigan, we’ve spent decades helping people with everything from alimony and asset division, to child custody and even PPOs. Call 866 766 5245 and set up a free consultation. We’re available 24/7 to help.