Hollywood has, for years, depicted the ‘cheating husband’ as a heartless, selfish man. One who grows bored of his wife, slaving away at home to prepare his meals, raise his children and clean his house, and looks instead for a younger, more exciting bed partner. A similar myth exists about cheating wives, vixens who use and discard men with no regard for their feelings.

While these scenarios certainly happen, they are not an accurate representation of the reality of infidelity in most cases. In fact, there are countless beliefs and notions about affairs out there that are incorrect. For this reason, we have compiled a list of points you should know about cheating that may change your perspective a little.

1. Cheaters Feel Bad

While the media tends to stereotype a cheater as a heartless cad without morals or compassion, the truth is that most cheaters feel absolutely terrible about what they’ve done. LIke the proverbial albatross, it hangs around their necks and weighs them down. They wrestle with guilt and shame and self-loathing. Unfortunately, sometimes these feelings become too much to bear, and they seek refuge in something that they know can make them feel good, even if just for a moment – the thrill of another affair.

2. Women Cheat Too

Statistics reveal that with every passing year, the number of women who are unfaithful in their marriages climbs to rival men’s. At this point in time, men and women are about even in their marital indiscretions. Which means that the problem has more to do with current beliefs and expectations about marriage, than it does with the male portion of the population.

3. Cheaters Know What They’re Doing

A man who cheats on his wife is fully aware of what he’s doing. This isn’t a case of ‘help, I fell and I can’t get up!” Cheating is never an accident, or an uncontrollable impulse. A person who is having an affair is in control of the choices they make, and while they may feel driven or compelled to seek out the affections of another person, it isn’t something that they cannot control.

4. A Cheater’s Spouse is Not To Blame

They say it takes two to tango, and they’re right. If a marriage falls apart, it is usually not the work of just one person. However, the idea that a person’s spouse forced them to have an affair is an inaccurate representation. People who are unhappy in their marriages have numerous resources, including counseling to help them through a rough patch, or they can even opt for divorce if the rough patch is too rough.  On the other hand, affairs are conscious choices to seek out something that fills the void, however temporarily, not something that their spouse pushed them to do.

Join us next time when we will be looking at the next few items on the list of facts about infidelity you should know.