There are many, many reasons why being married to a narcissist is an awful experience. In addition to the ‘walking-on-eggshells’ reality that makes up every minute of your day, you have to put up with being verbally abused, undermined, and emotionally attacked on a regular basis. And don’t forget the ongoing gaslighting that makes up a considerable part of every relationship with a narcissist. (Just ask some of our former clients in Lansing, Eaton County and Okemos – they can attest to that frustrating reality!) We get it, really we do. (Because we’ve handled hundreds of divorce cases in Mid Michigan since the last century.) They can ruin just about anything.
But nothing brings home the reality of how unpleasant and unhealthy this relationship really is, like the holidays. At a time when other families are gathering to exchange gifts and spend time enjoying each other’s company over a good meal, you’re navigating the choppy waters of holidays spent in the company of someone with a serious personality disorder!
Why do narcissists ruin the holidays for their families?
Let’s cut to the chase. The only thing a narcissist truly cares about is themselves. And we’re not talking about a selfish person, or a greedy person. The world is full of selfish and greedy people who don’t have personality disorders, they’re just not very nice people. There’s a difference. A narcissist legitimately don’t doesn’t give a darn about anything that doesn’t make them look good, or feel good, or both. It’s all about them. Always. Just like it’s always your fault. And you’re always to blame if they ruin something special.
A narcissist has to be the center of attention. So there are definitely narcissists who thrive during the holidays because it gives them an opportunity to look good.They give great gifts, decorate their homes beautifully for the holidays, and host awesome parties. Not because they want others to enjoy the season, mind you, but simply because everyone praises their amazing generosity and creativity, and that’s what they need – to be the center of attention at all times. But not all families fall in line so easily. And in cases where a family fails to put their resident narcissist first during the holidays, they all pay a high price! It happens all over mid Michigan and the Lansing area including Eaton County, Clinton County, Jackson County and Livingston County.
Narcissists have to be the center of attention at all times, or else…
Narcissists who feel that the spotlight has shifted off them and onto someone or something else, even temporarily, don’t respond well. Whether it’s Jesus, Santa, or Uncle Eddie’s epic holiday party, if your narcissistic spouse feels that they’re not the center of attention anymore, they’re going to act out in ways that make the holidays unpleasant for everyone. Whether it’s threats to return the kid’s gifts to the store because they weren’t sufficiently grateful, or treating extended family members rudely at the holiday party because they dared to be interested in chatting to someone other than your spouse, it can be a serious struggle!
Kids with a narcissistic parent often have very mixed feelings about the holidays.They love the gifts and light and magic of the season. But they fear the epic temper tantrums, the cruel manipulations, and the meanness. Everyone walks on eggshells, never certain when the next bomb is going to drop. It’s stressful and traumatic, and makes a season that should be full of love and joy into one full of fear instead. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore.
The Kronzek Firm can help you get away from your narcissistic spouse
At The Kronzek Firm we’ve helped countless people get out of unhappy and unloving marriages to narcissists. We know how difficult this is, and how challenging the process is likely to be. We also understand why you may be afraid, or feel like the fight simply isn’t worth it in the end. We get it. This is a scary time for you, and you’re going to need a lot of help. But you’re not alone.We’ve done this a lot of times. We can help you.
The experienced family law attorneys at The Kronzek Firm have more than half a century of combined experience helping mid-Michigan folks with their divorces. We’ve handled just about every possible scenario you can think of, and many of those include dealing with spouses with serious personality disorders in Ingham, Eaton and Livingston counties. So we know what you’re up against. If your narcissistic spouse wrecked your holidays again, call us at 517 886-1000 today to set up your free consultation.