There isn’t a day that goes by, that we don’t get a call from someone who wants to divorce their narcissistic spouse. Which, as you can imagine, is a far bigger ordeal than just divorcing an average person. Why? Because narcissists are a whole different breed of individual – a category of hardship and difficulty all on their own when it comes to divorce challenges. So if this sounds like your situation, and you’re considering filing for divorce from your narcissistic spouse, this one’s for you.
What’s the difference between a narcissist and the average bad spouse?
One of the difficulties we face when helping people through their contentious divorces, is figuring out whether that person’s spouse is really a narcissist, or just an angry person with an axe to grind. Because there is a difference. Divorce brings out the ugly side of people. They can become mean and heartless, but that doesn’t mean they’re a narcissist.
Narcissism is a personality disorder. It’s characterized by extreme selfishness, a grandiose view of one’s own talents, and a ceaseless craving for admiration. The result is people who are manipulative, lacking in empathy, easily angered, and in some cases, downright dangerous! If your spouse really is a narcissist, you have your work cut out for you! (And so do we!)
You don’t leave me! I decide when it’s over!
One of the greatest issues, when divorcing a narcissist, is the issue of the divorce itself. If your spouse really is a narcissist, and you decided to leave them, then chances are they’re furious! After all, as a narcissist they have a hugely inflated sense of their own importance, and can’t accept that someone would end a relationship with them.
The natural response in this situation is to make you pay for your poor decision. You’ve committed the unimaginable crime of ending a relationship with someone who is infinitely more important than you (or so they think), and the only appropriate response is to get revenge. How? By making your life as miserable as possible, for as long as possible.
They’ll have everyone else fooled!
One of the most dangerous traits of narcissists, is their charm. They can turn it on and off like a faucet, dispensing it liberally when it’s in their best interests, and turn it off at a second’s notice when dealing with you. The catch is getting other people to believe you! Which is one of the narcissist’s greatest weapons. They want you to look like the raving, finger-pointing liar, which they play the role of the tolerant saint, when in reality, it’s exactly the opposite!
It’s actually quite scary when you see it in action – a person who can switch between sweet and helpful, and vindictive and cruel at a moment’s notice. However, don’t lose hope. We understand what’s on the line here, and we’ve had loads of experience dealing with narcissistic spouses. We know how slippery they can be, and how subtly evil.
Are you considering divorcing a narcissist? You’re going to need help!
Join us next time, as we continue this discussion about narcissistic personality disorder, and what you’re up against. Until then, if you or a loved one is considering divorce, or needs help with other family issues like custody or paternity, we’re here to help you. The experienced family law attorneys at The Kronzek Firm have spent decades helping the families of mid-Michigan with all their family legal issues. Call us today at 866-766-5245 and talk to someone who can help.