Usually when you have to have that talk, it’s about how to break the bad news to your spouse about your decision to end your marriage. But in truth, it could be any uncomfortable conversation – and introducing the topic of a prenuptial agreement can be really uncomfortable.
Prenuptial agreements aren’t fun, but they are important!
For a young couple in love, talking about how to prepare for a possible divorce can be a really hard conversation. Especially when all of the other discussions center around wedding cake flavors and flower choices and who’s going to sit with whom at the wedding. After all, “Hey Honey, I love you so much and I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with you, so let’s be prepared in case our marriage crashes and burns!” isn’t a very romantic conversation.
But as you can probably agree, life isn’t all moonlight and roses. Paying the mortgage and changing your baby’s diaper at 3am aren’t “fun” or “romantic” either, but they’re a normal part of life for most couples. So the sooner you make your peace with those less thrilling but very important parts of reality, the more peace of mind you’ll have in the future. But how to have the talk? Well, it isn’t easy, but here are our top five tips for initiating this necessary conversation:
Our top 4 tips for talking prenups with your soon-to-be-spouse:
Share your concerns. Be transparent about what you want, and why you think it’s important to be prepared for all eventualities. Don’t pass the blame, or try to be coy about it. Being honest and open about your plans for the future, and why you believe both of you need to be protected, just in case things don’t work out.
Be straightforward but kind.
It’s important that you tell your partner about your need for a prenup in a straightforward and upfront way. Even if they don’t respond well initially, explain why you believe it’s the right thing to do, and how life is full of unexpected surprises (both good and bad) that can be prepared for in advance. But be kind. Have compassion for them while they work to accept it, and give them a little time to get used to the idea.
Choose your words carefully.
You need to explain the importance of a prenup, but you can do it without being antagonistic, and without making divorce sound like a foregone conclusion. Statements like “When we get divorced…” or “When one of us decides to call it quits…” aren’t going to help you make this conversation any easier. So be careful of what you say, and how you say it!
Timing is very important.
When you have this conversation is just as important as how you have it! Don’t spring it on your soon-to-be-spouse with no warning, and don’t lead up to it in a drawn out and ominous way. Pick a time when you know you’ll have privacy, and tell them you need to have a serious conversation about something that could impact your future as a couple. This way they don’t feel cornered or unpleasantly surprised by the conversation. Also, don’t wait to have this conversation until days before the wedding! Preparing a prenup can be a time consuming task, and you will need time to do it properly. (NOt to mention the fact that springing a prenup on someone days before they say I do is a guaranteed way to get your wedding cancelled!)
Having a prenup in place can make a divorce far less stressful!
While having the conversation about a prenup isn’t fun, having one in place when things go belly-up makes a huge difference. Divorce is stressful, so knowing that how your assets get divided ahead of time makes the process so much smoother. Also, if you had certain financial assets when you came into the marriage, knowing that they’re protected makes a big difference.
Every divorce case is different and will require its own specific analysis. If your marriage is ending, whether or not you have a prenup, you’re going to need experienced lawyers who understand how Michigan divorce and property law work. The Kronzek Firm family law attorneys have decades of experience helping hundreds of spouses come to a successful divorce settlement. Call us today at 866 766 5245. We’re here to help.