Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. When everyone is full of good cheer, the trees are trimmed, the gifts are wrapped, the lights are magical, and all’s right with the world. Unless of course this is your first Christmas since the divorce. In which case it probably feels a lot less magical than it should. Suddenly all your family Christmas traditions don’t feel quite right, your budget for gifts is considerably smaller, and you’re concerned about how its all going to work out.
We get it. It’s difficult to adjust to such a major change, especially during the holidays. And if you think you’re having a hard time with the adjustments, your kids are probably struggling even more. We’re not going to lie to you – there is no magic pill to fix it all and make everything better. But there are things you can do to make the change less stressful, and to regain some of that family fun. Sounds like a plan? Good, because you CAN survive the holidays, and even enjoy them. Just follow these tips…
“Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.”
The Polar Express
How you present an idea to a child has a lot to do with how they come to think about it in the future. Telling them that you’re sorry they have to travel between their parent’s homes for holiday celebrations will make it sound like a bad thing. But if you make it sound like they’re lucky for getting to celebrate the same holiday twice, it can make the situation sound a lot more exciting!
So choose your words carefully, and be careful when you explain holiday plans to your children after the divorce. Stay focused on the good things, and make a point of trying to maintain a positive attitude. Your kids might not buy into the idea immediately, but they’ll catch on eventually, and it’ll help you feel more upbeat about the situation as well!
“Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.”
A Christmas Story
Kids love traditions! Special things their family does every year to mark certain events can carry a lot of emotional weight and importance. So while traditions after a divorce may feel pointless because the family structure is different, don’t give up on them. Instead, create new traditions if the old ones don’t work for your family, or adapt old ones to work for the situation you have now.
Either way, it’s important to make holidays special for you and your children, regardless of what else is going on in life. Also, make sure that your kids still have the chance to see extended family members and loved ones during the holidays. Relationships are important, and being with special people during the holidays will help them with the adjustment.
Divorce can be hard, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Single parenting can be very stressful, and the holidays tend to add a lot more tension, we get that. However, remember that many families have survived this transition and gone on to be stronger and happier. You can do it too! So if you need advice about a possible divorce or custody, or if you’re considering divorce but don’t know how to begin the process, we’re available to talk ’round the clock!. Call our experienced family law attorneys at 866 766 5245. We are here to help! And be sure to come back for the next installment in thie series on how to make your post-divorce holidays just as magical and meaningful as ever!