We accept notions like “everything will be OK” and “you can have anything you want if you’re willing to fight for it” as being life mantras that convey truths. However, more often than not, they’re completely false. In the same way, we believe a host of myths about marriage. The sad truth is that these myths set us up for failure, because they condition us to expect certain things, and perceive things in a certain way, which is detrimental to the success of a marriage. So what are these little lies we tell ourselves? Let’s take a look …
Mr Right Is Out There Somewhere
The belief that there is a Mr. Right or Mrs. Right somewhere out there, whose heart, mind and body will perfectly correspond with yours, complementing and completing you, is a myth that leads to inevitable disappointment.
It may be true that some people are more compatible than others, based on core values and beliefs, the reality is that no two people are “perfectly suited” for each other. People are flawed. They make mistakes, they allow their emotions to dictate their actions, and they say things without thinking. In other words, they are not perfect.
A “perfect” spouse belief often subconsciously leads to the idea that, when things don’t work out the way you hoped, your spouse is not “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. Therefore by default, they are “Mr. or Mrs. Wrong”. A spouse who hurts your feelings during a fight, or says something unkind in a moment of weakness is a flawed person who made a bad choice, that doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed to fail, or that they are “wrong” for you.
Marriage Is Really Hard Work
While the reality is that marriage is not all moonlight and roses, it isn’t all drudgery and monotony either. And perhaps “work” is the wrong word to use here. After all, there are a small number of very lucky individuals who love what they do for a living. But the fact remains that most people are simply doing what needs to be done to get by. As a result, for the majority of the population, the word “work” is synonymous with things like “boring and repetitious” or “unavoidable obligation”. This does not paint marriage in a very kind light.
There will certainly be aspects of your marriage that will require more time and effort than others, and there will be periods in your marriage that will feel less exciting and carefree than others, but marriage is not ‘hard work’. Marriage is an adventure, which, if you think about the last few adventure movies you watched, contained a few struggles and frightening scenes scattered amongst the fun and entertaining parts. Marriage is a partnership, and if you know anything about partnerships, they aren’t always a picnic. But when two people collaborate and support each other’s creativity and skills, great things can be achieved.
Join us next time, as we dispel a few more myths about marriage, and take apart some of the lies we believe about that misunderstood subject. Until then, if your relationship has turned out to be more of a myth and less of a marriage, we are here to help you pick up the pieces. Call 866 766 5245 to talk to a skilled divorce attorney today. We can help you get your life back on track.