So your ex is getting remarried. What are you experiencing right now? Are you sad? Angry? Feeling abandoned (and feeling confused about why you feel abandoned because you thought you’d already processed all these feelings?). It can be a confusing time, with a lot of emotional reactions running through your mind.
Some people experience relief. Others struggle with emotional pain, and having to relive the loss of their partner all over again after the divorce. Some struggle with conflicting emotions they don’t understand, and don’t necessarily even want to deal with.
Why would it be so challenging to see your ex get remarried?
But the question many people ask at this time is ‘why?’ Why would it be so hard to see your ex getting remarried, and what can you do to process your reactions? Whether your ex gets married quickly, or takes a long time to find their next partner, many mental health experts say it can be a difficult time for many people. The feeling of being replaced can mean an unexpected blow to the self esteem.
Something about it being “really over”, with no hope of reconciliation, can leave people grappling with a renewed sense of loss. Or perhaps the frustration that he got over you so fast and is moving on with his life, while you’re still trying to figure out what comes next, seems unfair. So what can you do to work through these feelings?
What can you do to identify your emotional reactions?
First, you need to identify what you’re feeling. Is it grief? Rage? Loss? Shame? Figuring out what you’re experiencing will help you figure out where it’s coming from. Many therapists would encourage you to sit with your feelings for a while – allow yourself to experience them, and then think about what may have prompted that particular reaction.
Are you angry because he moved on so quickly and you’re still hanging on to a relationship that’s ended? Are you disgusted (and also feeling like an old pair of slippers dropped off at Goodwill) because his new wife-to-be is half your age? Or perhaps you’re feeling ashamed and abandoned because he has found new love, while you’re still alone. Try to figure out what your heart is saying, and why. It can be hard, but it’s worth it to help you move on.
Divorce is a stressful time. Don’t try to do it alone.
Getting divorced is no different than moving on from a divorce – both of them are emotionally challenging times and require effort and hard work on your part. But that doesn’t mean you have to (or should) do it alone. In fact, the more help you have the better. So if you’re ready to call it quits, or your spouse wants to call it quits and you need legal help to protect yourself during this difficult transition, call The Kronzek Firm at 517 866 1000.
Our skilled and experienced family law attorneys have spent decades representing people from all over mid-Michigan during their divorces. We can help you with every aspect of this process, from