It’s been called many things over the years. Stepping out. Fooling around. Betraying the vows. Two-timing. However, regardless of what term or phrase you choose to use, being cheated on hurts! And many people, when they’ve been hurt by a trusted loved one, want to lash out and cause that person pain. Give them a taste of their own medicine, as it were. But it can actually be a pretty bad idea.
Why did they do it in the first place?
Lets face it, when someone cheats on their spouse, what they are doing is wrong and hurtful and a violation of an oath they swore when they got married. Usually, however, it is because of a deep-seated need that is not being met in their marriage or in themselves. But it is very rarely done with the sole intent of causing their spouse pain.
The Old Testament “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” is no more palatable in modern times than it was back in the day. But when it all comes down to it, is getting revenge (or revenge cheating) really worth it? And will it get you what you want in the long run?
Revenge cheating isn’t a good idea.
According to research on the subject, it is far more often women that will engage in a “revenge affair” in order to get back at their husbands for hurting them, and in a desire to even the scores. As for just plain old revenge, in the form of slashed tires or a brick through the window, well that one is done by both genders equally.
Unlike the original affair, which happened for selfish reasons, a revenge affair is usually done for the sole purpose of causing someone pain. Whether or not it works is another thing, but the fact remains that someone engaged in a sexual affair and flaunted it simply to cause their spouse pain. And that can backfire on you!
Getting revenge makes you look petty and childish.
It’s a hard thing to hear, we know, but it’s true. When you step back from this sequence of events and look at it objectively, (which is hard to do when you’re in the midst of emotional agony, we understand that) it’s very hard to see ‘revenge’ as anything other than small minded.
No matter how you justify it before, or afterwards, this behavior will seriously affect how people treat you when it becomes public. And it will become public. You’ll find that people think of you as childish and vindictive. That can hamper all kinds of opportunities for you, both in future relationships and even in work. Sound overblown? Not really. In this digital age of living-out-loud you’d be amazed at how much, and how quickly, information gets around.
Stop and think before you act!
Join us next time for a look at why a revenge affair almost never works out the way you hoped it would. Until then, if you discover that your spouse has been cheating on you and you decide to end your marriage (which is NOT the same as getting revenge!) come and talk to us at The Kronzek Firm.
Our skilled and experienced family law attorneys have been helping people handle their divorces, and everything that entails, for decades. We can help you figure out how to divide your assets, what custody arrangement is best for your family, and if spousal support, or alimony, is needed in your situation. Call 866 766 5245 today, and talk to someone who can help.