Welcome back and thanks for stopping by. We’ve been talking about the problems with getting revenge when your spouse cheats (as opposed to just getting a divorce!). In the previous segment we talked a little about the motivations that drive revenge affairs, and also some of the consequences. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. Let’s dive right here…
Right now, you have the upper hand…
We get it. You’re heartbroken and furious and resentful – all perfectly normal and understandable emotional responses. But it’s when the desire to get even becomes a motivating force that things can get really screwed up.
Because right now, it’s very likely that in divorce court, they’ll be cast in the role of “bad guy” while you will assume the mantle of “victimized good guy”. Cold and clinical as this sounds, it’s in your favor.
In divorce court, ‘moral fitness’ can affect a lot of things…
In the event that your divorce isn’t an amicable one, you’re going to need all of the tools and resources available to you. And let’s be honest, “My spouse cheated on me and I didn’t cheat on them” obviously looks a whole lot better than “My spouse cheated on me so I turned around and did exactly the same thing in order to level the playing field”.
Cheaters are not usually looked at as being pillars of virtue and fine examples of moral fitness, so when it comes to the issue of figuring out child custody…well, you do the math.
It’s like shooting yourself in the foot.
When your spouse cheats on you, unless they are a truly despicable person, they’re going to feel some guilt. Most cheaters wrestle with feelings of guilt, shame, and self condemnation after the fact. However, a revenge affair is usually driven by a need to cause pain and settle scores. “You did it to me and now I’m going to show you how much I suffered.” But it rarely works that way.
Instead, the cheating spouse, when confronted with evidence of your infidelity, feels relief! After all, you just handed them a “get out of guilt free card”. They’re no longer the cruel and heartless marriage breaker who is cheating on their poor, naive partner. Why? Because you’re now guilty of exactly the same thing. You did it too. So now they don’t have to feel bad about it anymore.
Have you been cheated on by your spouse?
Are you looking to end your marriage and start life over? If so, we can help you. Our skilled and experienced divorce attorneys have been helping people navigate this difficult process for decades. We know how to protect your rights, and ensure that you get a fair and successful outcome.
Join us next time, for a look at some of the legal issues you may be facing if you choose to get revenge. Until then, if you are ready to consider your divorce options, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 and talk to someone who can help you.