Being suspicious of your spouse’s fidelity is a terrible feeling. Being certain that something in your relationship has changed, but being too afraid to confront it, can leave you struggling with fear and resentment.  Accusing a spouse of cheating and getting nothing but angry denials in return, can be confusing and frustrating. In this series we are going to look at some of the more common signs of an unfaithful spouse, and list some red flags you need to keep a look out for.

First we want to look at the most common scenarios for affairs. If your spouse is indeed sneaking around behind your back, it is more likely than than not that they met their cheating partner in one of these ways:

• At work:

  affairs between coworkers are very common. This is even more of an issue when people work in close proximity to one another, and their jobs come with a high level of stress, which can create the illusion of intimacy.

• Online:

  affairs that begin in chat rooms and as part of online gaming have become more and more frequent these days. Because almost everyone has internet access these days, and people can use the excuse that it’s only a ‘virtual’ affair, so it’s not ‘real’, can make it very easy to engage in online romances.

• Among friends:

  A surprising number of affairs start between friends, as entirely platonic relationships that develop over time. The wife of a buddy. A family friend’s husband. These relationships often feel like even more of a betrayal because they involve two people you trusted, not just a spouse and a stranger.

• Strangers:

  Although picking someone up in a bar and taking them to a hotel for a quick roll in the hay is less common than the three scenarios mentioned before, it does happen. Just because it tends to be a single encounter, doesn’t make it any less devastating, or any less risky.

• Hired help:

  Not many people in today’s economy have ‘pool boys’, nanny’s, private tennis instructors and strapping security guards. But for that small percentage of the population whose paychecks have more zeros than the average joe’s income, this can be a very unsettling reality.

If you are concerned that your spouse is not being faithful to you, take a little time to examine why you feel that way. What has led you to question your spouse’s faithfulness to your marriage? Are there overt signs of an affair, or is it just a feeling you can’t shake? Do you struggle with trust, or has your spouse got a history of infidelity?

Figuring out why you think your spouse is unfaithful will help you decide whether or not this is something you want to pursue. If you really believe that they are cheating on you, then you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of this dilemma. But if you aren’t sure, and can’t put your finger on what has caused you to be suspicious, you may want to spend a little more time considering before you take action. Remember – false accusations can do a lot of damage to a relationship!

Once you’ve determined why you feel this way, and what it is that’s caused you to question your relationship, it is time to start examining the facts. What clues have you found so far, and what should you be on the look out for in the future? Join us next time, when we will be looking at the most common signs of an affair that you need to watch out for.