Divorces are incredibly hard, and in our ‘living out loud’ culture, it has become second nature to share our struggles with the world. And while we applaud the openness this kind of sharing requires, there are times and places where it’s entirely appropriate, and times and places where it isn’t. Specifically, during your divorce. There are certain things you really shouldn’t put on social media during your divorce because your spouse’s attorney can use them to make you look like a terrible parent, which can have a direct impact on your custody agreement. What to know what you should keep to yourself? It’s a simple list…

Never post anything on social media that:

…makes you look emotionally or mentally unstable!

This may seem vague, but you have to be very careful when choosing what to post online during a divorce. Anything that might be twisted or used against you at a later date in court should be avoided. So for now, avoid rants about how ‘idiots’ at the grocery store made you uncontrollably mad, pictures of automatic weapons, memes that make fun of people getting hurt, or snarky comments about someone ‘getting what they deserve’ when something bad happens to them. If there’s any chance it can make you seem psychologically or emotionally unbalanced in any way, don’t do it!

…might make you look like a bad parent!

You’d be amazed at what can be used to make a parent look morally unfit these days, but there you have it. So if you’re going to be sharing stories online about your kids, steer clear of the ones where your children acted out and you were “forced to whoop their butts!” Also, don’t let friends photograph you at parties, or at the bar. Pictures of you laughing it up after a few drinks can be used to show that you’re irresponsible and immature, even if you weren’t drunk at the time and you hardly ever drink. Appearances matter, so be careful how you, and others, represent you online!

…suggests you’ve started a new relationship!

Regardless of what the facts are in your marriage, dating before you’re officially divorced looks bad. So posting pics online from your most recent date is a major no-no during your divorce! Don’t make comments about having finally found Mr (or Mrs) Right, check in from whatever bar you’re meeting for drinks at, or tag your new partner on your Instagram food pics from date night. No Tinder references, no couple selfies, and no memes about finding love. If you decide to date before your marriage is officially over, be sure to keep that on the ‘downlow’. Which means not putting it on social media, and not discussing it with your kids.

Divorce is already hard – don’t make it harder on yourself!

We get it – this sucks. Divorce is really tough and you’re in need of support and commiseration. But we cannot stress this enough: don’t go looking for support on social media platforms. Instead, talk face-to-face with friends, family members, loved ones, or even your therapist. Find direct ways to reach out for help when you need it, and get together with loved ones to vent when you’re feeling overwhelmed. But whatever you do, keep your online persona squeaky clean. It might feel like you’ve been muzzled, but what you’re actually doing is protecting your future self. And your future self will thank you! Join us next time for the rest of the list – you won’t be sorry!