No one gets plans a marriage with a divorce in mind. No one walks down the aisle, dressed to the nines and ready to celebrate their big day, while planning which items they’re going to take with them when it all comes crashing down. (At least, no one should! There probably are a few people who enter into marriages with dark ulterior motives, but we’re talking about regular folks here.) People decide to get married and spend the rest of their lives together because they love each other and they plan to get old together. But the sad truth is, it often doesn’t happen that way.
So how can you make your marriage last and avoid divorce?
Although affairs, money issues and lack of common ground are often cited as the reasons for why marriages fail, these are rarely the real reasons for divorce. What do we mean by that? Well, if you think about it, these are more often the symptoms of problems, not the problems themselves. If you were to go back in time, you would find that the trouble began much earlier in the marriage, long before the symptoms began to appear. And that’s what we want to talk about right now – the real reasons marriages fail and how to avoid them.
1. Honesty Is The Best Policy
Never pretend to be someone you’re not, claim to believe in things that you don’t believe in, agree to things that you don’t agree with, or go along with something that your partner says simply because you’re afraid of “rocking the boat” or “causing an argument“. It’s much easier to find out before getting married that you’re not on the same page about those big ticket items, like whether or not to have kids, than after you’ve gone through with the wedding. Better to bow out when you haven’t yet tied the knot if it turns out that you can’t see eye to eye on important things.
2. Decide on The Big Things Early
While children are very expensive and often a huge source of stress, they’re also an enormous source of joy and most parents would never take back the opportunity to have kids if presented with a chance to live life over again. However, regardless of what your perspective is, you and your spouse-to-be need to talk about this subject before committing, because this can be a deal breaker for many people. Make sure that you both agree, whether it’s to have kids or not, so that this doesn’t because a bone of contention down the road in your relationship.
3. Money Can Make or Break Your Relationship
Careers are a very big deal, as they can determine aspects of your life. Things like where you might end up living, how much money you hope to make, and plans to go back to school are all factors in your career choice that should be discussed with your future spouse. So many hours of a person’s life are spent engaged in work and the pursuit of work, so it’s critical that you and your partner are aware of each other’s goals, plans, and dreams for the future. Talking about your career plans beforehand makes it is easier to determine if your future lives are compatible.
Be prepared for all eventualities when making a life-long commitment
Join us next time for the wrap up of this two part series, where we’ll be looking at the final three pointers on how to make your marriage last. Until then, if you’re in a marriage that didn’t work out the way you planned, and you need help preparing for the next phase in your life, call 866 766 5245 today. Here at The Kronzek Firm, our skilled and experienced family law attorneys can help you prepare for every eventuality your divorce may present, and help you prepare for a better future.