Welcome back and thanks for joining us again. We’ve been talking about the difficulties that people face in keeping a marriage intact. While no one plans to get divorced when they’re walking down the aisle, it certainly seems to happen more often than anyone expects. But can it be avoided? Are there things we could do, or decisions we could make in advance, that might reduce our chances of divorce? It seems there are. As we mentioned in the previous article, there are a few tips you can follow right from the start to reduce your chances of an incompatible match. Here are the last three on our list…
4. Personal faith can be very important in a marriage
It’s entirely possible to be in a marriage where two people believe very different things, but only if they’ve agreed to respect each other’s views. So you and your spouse-to-be should discuss what you believe, and if there are substantial differences, you need to figure out if you can live with them. Choosing to marry someone whose spiritual or religious beliefs are vastly different from your own can create complications down the road when raising children, when observing religious holidays, or when either faith requires commitments from you that your partner might not understand. Make that you both know what the other believes, and decide how these differences are going to be handled in your relationship.
5. Accept that people change as they mature
“The leopard never changes his spots”, or so the old saying goes. But the truth is that people do change. It just tends to be a slow process that occurs over time, and it’s influenced by where people are in life, and what they’re experiencing. But those aren’t changes you can bank on. If your soon-to-be-spouse has beliefs, values or character traits that you can’t make peace with, don’t tie the knot hoping that those things will “get better” with time. And definitely don’t get hitched hoping you’ll be able to change your spouse. For your relationship to be successful, you need to be at peace with who they are when you marry them, while also accepting that they will change and mature over time.
6. Know that gaps can be bridged with effort
There are some circumstances that make sustaining a relationship harder than usual for some couples. This could include significant cultural or age differences between the partners, or perhaps widely different socioeconomic upbringings that can affect how you live life, and relate to each other in the future. Be aware, before you agree to walk into the sunset with someone, that the differences in their upbringing and yours could be the very things that undermine your relationship. For example, having vastly different religious beliefs can seem like a non-issue in the beginning when you’re madly in love, but when trying to raise children in years to come it can present a unique set of challenges. It’s not guaranteed to ruin your marriage by any means, but it could cause a major rift if you’re not careful.
A little preplanning and awareness goes a long way…
We hope this list has provided some food for thought for those of you who’re considering taking that final step toward marital harmony. As always, we wish the best for you, and hope that your relationship is lasting and successful. However, in the event that your “happily ever after” wasn’t quite so “happily”, and isn’t going to survive “ever after”, feel free to call us at 866 766 5245. We are here to help. Our experienced and hard working family law attorneys can help you prepare for an upcoming marriage, or work through the process of ending one that didn’t work out.