Why Your Narcissistic Ex Will Try to Ruin The Holidays! (Pt 1)

A close up of a woman's hands, holding a silver glitter Christmas tree ornament.
Your ex doesn’t give a hoot about you, or your kids, or the magic of whatever holiday your family celebrated. They only care about themselves. So what now?

It isn’t a question of whether or not your narcissistic ex will try to ruin the holidays – you already know them well enough to know that’s a given. Of course, they’ll try to wreck the holidays! That’s just the kind of person they are. But what might have you scratching your head (or maybe beating it against a wall) is the issue of why. Why would they go out of their way to ruin something so special? To make you and your kids miserable at this time of year that’s so specifically focused on peace, love, joy and gratitude? 

Narcissists don’t care about their kids, or their exes, or the holidays!

No, believe it or not “because they’re a crappy, hateful person” isn’t the real reason, although it may feel like a real enough reason from your perspective. There are actual real reasons why narcissists do the things they do. And when it comes to making everyone miserable during the holidays, their selfishness, cruelty, and grinch-like behavior is motivated by a perverse kind of logic. So let’s take a moment to try and figure out what those reasons are…

  • Narcissists lack empathy

The very essence of narcissism is lack of empathy. Narcissists simply aren’t capable of recognizing other people’s feelings, or emotional needs. They have always put themselves above others, and believe that the only needs and wants that matter are their own. So whatever they’re doing that’s ruining the holidays for you and your kids doesn’t even show up on their radar. As far as they’re concerned, what they’re doing is the same thing they’ve always done – making it all about themselves. And if other people get hurt along the way, so what? Those people have never mattered to them anyway.

  • ALL attention is good, even when it’s bad

Narcissists want to be the center of attention. They want to be the only person who matters, because that’s what they already believe to be true. So if they can find a way to be the center of attention and keep everyone else feeling good, then that’s usually what they’ll do. After all, they enjoy feeling good, which is easy to do when you’re surrounded by happy people who love you. But if they can’t have that, they’ll take negative attention instead. Because negative attention is better than no attention. So if making plans with the kids and then standing you up at the last minute helps them feel in control, then that’s what they’ll do. Because they’re the only person who matters in their own world.

Divorce can make simple, enjoyable seasons that much harder!

Getting divorced is hard. Getting divorced from a narcissist is insanely hard. Here at The Kronzek Firm we’ve handled more divorces than we can count over the years. From easy, amicable partings, to highly contentious partings fraught with rage and abuse, we’ve seen it all. And that includes divorces involving narcissists. We know how complex and downright crappy the process can be, and what you have to look forward to as you navigate this difficult road. But that’s what we do best. So if you’re ready to end a marriage, whether it’s to a narcissist or to someone you just don’t love anymore, call us at 866 766 5245 today and get the right help from the people who know what they’re doing.