The dictionary defines amicable as ‘characterized by or showing goodwill; friendly; peaceable’. Which sounds like the absolute antithesis of divorce, doesn’t it? Yet while the term ‘amicable divorce’ may sound like a fantasy, it actually refers to a peaceable process that is a real possibility! However, in order to achieve it, a couple must be able to temporarily put aside their anger and hurt feelings, so they can deal with the divorce process in a dignified manner.
Divorce will never be easy, and no one will ever do it for fun. Couples aren’t usually going to be happy about their divorce, and that’s perfectly normal. But there are couples who, despite their pain and frustration at the failure of their marriage, want the divorce process to be as painless and stress-free as possible, both for themselves and for their children. They also want the outcome to be peaceful, and they are willing and able to set aside their own grievances to make that happen.
Here are a few common traits that define a couple who are good candidates for amicable divorce:
- They understand the need for experienced legal counsel, but want to keep the divorce out of court. In other words, they want sound legal advice in making divorce decisions, but they also want privacy and the ability to make their own choices.
- They believe that their children’s needs are paramount to their own, and so they are willing to maintain a respectful, peaceful relationship with their ex in order to co-parent their children.
- They do not want to use the divorce process to ‘hurt’ their spouse by ‘taking them for all they’ve got’ or exacting revenge for past woes. They understand that the relationship is over and vicious behavior will only make the process harder for everyone.
- They understand that while they may be experiencing perfectly justifiable pain, anger and rejection, the proper place for expressing those feelings is in a therapist’s office, not a divorce settlement meeting.
- They want to get through the divorce as quickly and efficiently as possible so that they can start the process of creating new and better lives for themselves.
By choosing an amicable divorce, you are:
- saving money in reduced legal fees,
- saving time spent with attorneys or in court,
- saving your children from a messy divorce full of anger and vindictive behavior, and
- saving yourself a lot of misery
Agreeing to an amicable divorce doesn’t mean that you aren’t experiencing emotional pain or grieving a loss. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t hurting, or struggling with anger. It simply means that you understand the need to deal with a very difficult process in the most sensible and mature way possible. Additionally, there are the benefits for the children involved. Amicable divorces are usually less frightening and stressful for children.
If you are considering divorce, and this process sounds like something that would work for you and your spouse, contact our family law attorneys today at 866 766 5245. Our skilled divorce attorneys are experienced in all forms of divorce and can help you with whatever process best suits your needs.