Are You Really Ready For a Divorce? (Or Are You Just Mad Right Now?) (pt 2)

Being angry at your spouse after a fight is normal. But it doesn’t mean your relationship is over!

Welcome back, we’re glad you could join us again for this discussion on how to tell if you’re ready for divorce or not. As we mentioned in the previous article, there are a few very clear signs to look out for when you’re really ready to call it quits. And if you’re there, then there probably isn’t much you can do about it but pull the plug and walk away. However, if you’re just really hurt and mad, and maybe need a little distance, or just need some space to work through what you’re feeling, then maybe you’re not ready for divorce. So how can you tell?

Being extremely angry can feel like the end.

But it doesn’t have to be. The people closest to us are usually the ones who know how to push our buttons in the most frustrating ways. And other than siblings, there is no other group with such unfettered access to our triggers than our spouses. So when you and your spouse have an argument, they can probably make you angrier than almost anyone else you know.

But that doesn’t mean your relationship is over. Fighting is a normal part of a marriage, and most couples can have big fights, get very angry at each other, and still recover and move forward in their marriages. Fighting isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless you or your spouse are brutally cruel to each other in ways that you can’t recover from. (Verbal abuse like name calling, or being sarcastic and intentionally unkind, can be very hard to heal from when it happens often.)

You know you’re not ready for divorce if…

  • You think about your future, and your spouse still features in your plans and dreams. If you still envision your spouse being around next year, or five years from now, then you’re definitely not ready to call it quits.
  • You still love your spouse, and you know deep down that you don’t want to leave, you just need some space to get past whatever has upset you recently. Needing a little recovery time is completely fine, but ending your relationship just because you’re mad doesn’t make sense.
  • You’re angry and hurt enough to consider leaving, and you’ve even thought about what your next steps would be, but when it comes right down to it you’re still unsure. You aren’t 100% certain, and the thought of actually pulling the plug makes you reluctant.
  • You know that there are things wrong with your marriage, but you still believe in your heart that they can be fixed. If this sounds like you, then we urge you to look into a marriage counsellor or a therapist who could help you and your spouse work through your issues.

Sometimes talking to a divorce attorney can help

If you’re still not certain, and you can’t seem to make up your mind about whether or not a divorce is right for you, we recommend you speak to a divorce attorney. That may sound counter-intuitive, but it can sometimes really help. Whether by clearing up your concerns, answering nagging questions you’ve struggled with, or simply helping you to realize that this isn’t what you want, it can make a difference.

Here at The Kronzek Firm, we offer a free consultation to every potential client who wants to meet and discuss their case. We’d like you to have the opportunity to ask some questions, and get a feel for how we work, without having to sign a check first. So if you’re not sure, and you want to see what your possible divorce might entail, call 866 766 5245 today, and set an appointment. We look forward to meeting you.

Testimonials

Brandy impressed me right away with her factual approach to my child custody case. She definitely knows the field well and never sugar coated things for me. I did feel lost many times, since this was all new to me, but looking back I kind of want to kick myself and remind me to trust Brandy. I felt uninformed a few times throughout the process, which was hard for me, but in spite of those moments, I did get great positive results in my case. She proved without a doubt in the end that she knows the system and she's an attorney to be reckoned with. Opposing counsel was actually shaking. My advice to potential clients is to definitely use Brandy for your child custody case, and to trust that she is giving you the best advice for your situation, and providing you the most quality representation you can buy. She is also a very busy professional, but she was always willing to sit down with me and answer my questions if I asked to. If I need further alterations to my custody agreement in the future, I certainly hope that Brandy will represent me again.

Bonnie on Avvo, 2015

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