If you are thinking about taking some time apart from your spouse, then it’s probably safe to assume that your marriage is experiencing some difficulties. But separation isn’t the same thing as divorce. So if this is going to be successful, you’ll need to make certain that you know exactly what you hope to achieve, and why.

First, consider your goals during the separation:

What do you hope to achieve here? Are you planning to take some time out to assess your feelings and decide if the marriage is worth saving? Or are you looking for a respite period away from a relationship that causes a great deal of stress? Are you planning to salvage your marriage if possible, or is this simply a way to slowly ease your spouse into the idea of divorce?

Whatever your intentions, you need to be absolutely, 100% certain. If you aren’t sure what you want, you will have no idea when you’ve achieved your goal, or even what you’re working towards. Be clear about what you want, and then work hard to achieve this goal. Statistics show that most separation periods lead to divorce, so it’s important that you know, right from the start, that this may be a possible outcome.

Second, be upfront with your spouse about your intentions:

If you are hoping to save your marriage, but struggling to cope with the day to day stressors of the relationship, tell your spouse. It’s important that you be honest, both with yourself and with your spouse, about what you want. Only then can you

If this is nothing more than a way to soften the blow of divorce, it would be kinder to tell them now that you are leaving, rather than drawing it out and turning the breakup into a slow motion collapse. If you’re not being honest with yourself (or your spouse) about your motivations, your marriage isn’t likely to survive the time apart anyway.

Third, know that your marriage may not survive the split:

As we’ve already pointed out, very few marriages survive trial separation periods. Perhaps this is because once someone in a struggling relationship experiences freedom, they’re reluctant to go back. Or maybe it’s because the spouse who stayed, and was waiting for their husband or wife to return, discovered in their absence that they’re actually happier without a partner. Either way, the fact is that most separations end in divorce.

If you or a loved one are considering taking some time apart from a spouse, come and talk to our skilled family law attorneys. We can help you figure out what your goals are for this separation period, and if you are working towards divorce, we can help you through the process. Our compassionate divorce attorneys are available 24/7 at 866 766 5245. It’s always better to talk over your decisions with someone experienced, before taking such a big step.