Welcome back. We’ve been talking about the reasons people cheat on their spouses, and the answers may be somewhat surprising to you. Or maybe they won’t. (You might be more in tune with human nature than you give yourself credit for!). Either way, in the previous article we looked at some of the more common reasons people cheat – boredom, conflict avoidance, and lack of commitment. Moving on we’re going to look at the next three at the top of the list, starting with one that we hear a lot about here in the office…
The top reasons people cheat on their spouses:
- Feeling unappreciated:
It’s amazing how far a little appreciation can go, especially when it comes to your spouse. And yet lack of appreciation seems to be a common theme when marriages fail. Especially among women who work, but then also carry the majority of the home-based responsibilities – children, chores, and other domestic concerns. Feeling like you earn an income just like your spouse but the spouse in question doesn’t step up to the plate on the home front can be frustrating. And according to several studies, it’s that feeling of being unappreciated by an oblivious spouse that can lead people into the arms of someone who does appreciate them. Even if it’s an entirely different skill set they’re appreciating.
- Body Image Issues:
For many people, the issue of body image is tied to aging. As people get older, or have children (or both), gravity and time take their toll. People struggle with feeling older and less attractive to their spouses, and so they seek out someone who finds them desirable in order to help overcome the fear of being “too old” or “too overweight” or “past their prime”. In these cases, an affair can provide the validation a person needs that they aren’t receiving from their spouse. However, it’s worth noting that sometimes the lack of validation people perceive is often based on unrealistic expectations of their spouse. But that’s a whole other kettle of fish…
This one happens more than you’d think, and it’s a pretty terrible reason to have an affair – revenge. When one spouse finds out that their partner cheated on them, they rush out and find someone to sleep with so they can give their spouse a taste of their own medicine. Although in most cases, this backfires horribly and the spouse you’re trying to get revenge on doesn’t care nearly as much as you thought they would. It also makes you look petty and childish in court, which could impact your child custody agreement if the Judge happens to disapprove of your behavior. So if your spouse has strayed, we recommend sticking to that old saying: the best revenge is living well.
Don’t wait till you’re both desperately miserable…
If your marriage isn’t what you hoped it would be, and you can’t seem to find a way to fix it, maybe it’s time to move on. Call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 today and speak with one of our skilled and experienced family law attorneys. We’ve helped many people over the years with every aspect of their divorces, from alimony and child support to custody and asset division. Don’t wait to let a bad thing get worse – get out as cleanly as possible, and give yourself a chance to move on in life without unnecessary drama or pain.