How Soon After a Divorce Can I Start Dating Again if I Have Kids? (Pt 2)

A couple at a table holding hands and drinking coffee.

Welcome back and thanks for joining us for this conversation on dating after divorce. We’re hoping to provide some insight based on our experiences working with countless Michigan parents over the years, as they navigate their divorces, and also the wisdom of mental health experts we’ve talked to. As we mentioned in the previous article, we think it’s important not to start a new relationship until your divorce is final, and also to avoid introducing your new partner to your kids until you’re sure it’s serious. But that’s not all…

Points to consider if you’ve got kids and want to start dating after your divorce…

  • Give yourself time to heal before starting a new relationship

Divorces are tough, and they can take a huge emotional toll on a person. Mental health experts tend to advise that it’s best to take time to heal from emotional pain before making yourself emotionally vulnerable again. After all, having so recently been in an unhappy relationship, it can be really hard to know what you want and need out of a healthy relationship. Taking time before dating again can help you figure out what you need in a partner, and what you’re not willing to tolerate.

  • Make sure you’re prioritizing time with your kids

Your kids are likely struggling as a result of the divorce (which is perfectly normal) and they’re going to need some extra TLC while they work through this. We understand that dealing with their mood swings and temper tantrums might not be fun, and dating might provide the pleasurable distraction you want right now, but as a parent your kids need to be your first priority. So if you’re considering starting a new relationship, just make sure it doesn’t get in the way of you being available for your kids when they need you. And they’re going to need you quite a lot during and after the divorce.

  • Remember to take it slowly!

There are so many good reasons to take it slow (notice we didn’t say don’t date – we just said ride the brakes a little!) It’s better to approach post-divorce dating from a slow pace for your own emotional health and for your kid’s as well. It’s also better because rushing into it could have a negative impact on the relationship itself, as your new partner needs time to adjust to your family and your new ‘normal.’ And then there’s your ex – if you rush things they may think you’re in a hurry to replace them, which could result in making interactions with them in the future even more strained (which might be true, but has a negative impact on your kids!). Like we said, lots of reasons to take it slow.

Make sure you’ve got the best help when it comes to your divorce!

Hopefully, these pointers gave you something to think about and help you decide what’s right for you after your divorce. Either way, whatever you decide, know that we’re here to help you. Our experienced family law attorneys have spent decades helping the people of Michigan, and we can help you too! Call 866 766 5245 to discuss your specific needs with a skilled attorney today, and ensure that every part of your divorce is well represented, from alimony and custody, to asset division and support.