People tend to have strong views on how long it’s “proper” to wait after a divorce before starting a new relationship or even entering the dating game. And when you have kids, that can get even more complicated. The truth is, there is no hard and fast answer for when it’s acceptable to get your dating game on again. But there are things you should consider, especially if they affect your children. So we put together a list of advice, and things to think over if you feel you may be ready to start dating again. (Or maybe you’re just wondering…)
Things to consider if you have kids and you’re hoping to start dating after divorce…
- Wait until your divorce is final before starting a new relationship
One thing that can look pretty bad, and can have a negative impact on the outcome of your divorce, is dating before your divorce is final. Starting new relationships before the old one is officially over can affect your custody agreement (moral fitness still counts for something!), and can make the rocky relationship you already have with your spouse even worse. That may not seem like a big deal, but when you’re battling out who gets to keep the house and the retirement account, that can make a big difference!
- Don’t introduce your dates to your kids until you know it’s serious
Your kids are probably going to have a hard time with the divorce, and they’re going to need time to adjust to their new reality. Introducing them to a new partner, or to every new fling you enjoy along the way will only confuse them, or worse – make them angry and resentful. If you’re hoping to find love again and maybe remarry somewhere down the road, be very mindful of how (and who) you introduce your children to. Giving everyone time to heal and adjust is the best way forward.
- Don’t have your dates sleep over until the relationship is established
If you chose to sleep with your dates, that’s entirely your business. But if you live with your children, we advise you to hold off on having them spend the night until the relationship is well established and your kids have had a chance to get to know them. Even if your plan is to sneak them in after lights out and have them gone by morning, you never know what might happen along the way. Nightmares, sudden stomach viruses, inexplicable bedwetting – kids sometimes need you in the middle of the night for unexpected reasons, and if you have a stranger in your bed when they walk in, it will be very hard to explain! (If your kids spend nights at their other parent’s house, then those would be the nights whee you’d be safe to have a date spend the night if you want to!)
Make sure your parenting time and custody agreements are well structured
Parenting after a divorce is tough, you have other people besides yourself who are affected by your decisions, and you have to take them into account in everything you do. It can be very tough, because taking “me time” makes you feel selfish at a point in life when you need it more than ever. But one of the things you can do to ensure that your stress level is as low as possible, both during and after your divorce, is to make sure you have the best available divorce attorney on your team!
Call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 today!
Our team of skilled and experienced family law attorneys can help you with every aspect of your divorce, from dividing your assets and determining alimony, to figuring out a reasonable custody agreement and working out child support. We’ve been helping the people of Michigan with their family law concerns for over a quarter century, and we can help you too. And don’t forget to join us next time for a few more tips and thoughtful pieces of advice to consider, if you’re planning on dating after your divorce.