Many people believe that it’s “proper” to wait a certain period of time after your divorce is final before you enter the dating game again. Why? Because rushing is often considered “desperate” or viewed as emotionally unhealthy. In truth, there are convincing arguments for both sides of this issue – waiting and not waiting. So which is best?
Well, the truth is that only you (and maybe your therapist) can answer that question. However, in order to make an informed decision about whether or not you’re ready to date (or whether the time is right) you need some info. Informed opinions and facts you can base your choice on. So in this series, we’d like to present some information from BOTH sides of the debate, so you can decide what’s right for you.
Reasons it’s better to wait….
- Divorces can be very traumatic. Taking time to heal from emotional pain is always better before making yourself emotionally vulnerable again.
- Being in a bad relationship can make it really hard to know what you want and need out of a healthy relationship. Taking time can help you figure out what you need in a partner, and what you’re not willing to tolerate.
- Rushing back into dating can make you seem desperate, which can attract the wrong kind of person. That may put you back into a relationship with someone who could treat you badly.
- If you have kids, rushing right into another relationship can confuse them (if they’re younger) or make them angry (if they’re older). Give your kids time before introducing them to a new partner.
- If you date too soon, chances are you haven’t had time to work through your frustrations and resentments over your ex. Nothing is worse than dating someone who hasn’t gotten over their former partner, so don’t be that person!
Reasons it’s better not to wait (too long)….
- If you spend too long alone after ending a relationship, the thought of a new relationship may get more and more unnecessary. You may end up avoiding possible new partners simply because you are “stuck in your ways” as a single person.
- Dating can boost your self confidence, which can help you move past feelings of inadequacy from a failed marriage.
- The longer you avoid something, the more frightening it can seem. Waiting too long to date can make pursuing another relationship feel like an overwhelming and terrifying thing.
- Sitting home alone and moping about your ex can lead to depression, anxiety and resentment. Getting back into the swing of things can help you start enjoying life again.
- The longer you wait, the more the dating game changes. There are loads of people who have recently divorced but are too frightened to date again because online dating and other recent changes to the dating game can feel intimidating. Don’t let fear of unfamiliar territory hold you back!
Hopefully these pointers give you something to think about, and help you decide what’s right for you after your divorce. Either way, whatever you decide, know that we are here to help you. Our experienced family law attorneys have spent decades helping the people of Michigan, and we can help you to! Call 866 76 5245 to discuss your specific needs with a skilled attorney today.