Getting a divorce is hard. That’s a fact even if the spouses parting ways are average, ordinary folks, with no “special circumstances” complicating their divorce process. But when your spouse is a narcissist your divorce is likely to be even more challenging than the average. Why? Because narcissistic people, by their very nature, complicate things. They drag things out, lie and cheat and twist the truth, and generally make the process ten times more awful for everyone involved. So with that in mind, here are a few things your narcissistic spouse simply won’t be able to handle during your divorce process if they’re a narcissist. Just so you know.
This is a big one. Narcissists can’t stand being the one who gets ‘left’. They’re fine if they decide to do the ‘leaving’ but they absolutely cannot stand being rejected in any capacity. And if you happen to be the one who decides to file for divorce, then you have officially rejected them. And you need to be prepared for some serious backlash. Rejected narcissists can be savage, depending on how personally they take the rejection, and how poorly they manage their anger. Revenge can take the form of false allegations against you, pretending to be a victim of your abuses, and even violence.
Shame and Guilt
A narcissist cannot stand to feel guilty or ashamed, in any way, for any reason. They perceive guilt as a form of weakness, and shame as something that happens to other people. So any efforts on your part to make them feel guilty for the way they’ve treated you, or the way they are treating you now, is only going to be met with more rage and greater cunning in trying to turn it around to make YOU look bad. If you want to make it out of this as unscathed as possible, don’t focus on trying to get your narcissistic spouse or regret their actions, just focus on getting out with as little drama as possible. Sometimes that’s all you can hope for.
A narcissistic person can’t stand to fail at something. They would rather lie and cheat and steal than admit that they’ve failed. So if their efforts to keep you under their thumb have failed, and you’ve gone renegade by leaving them, you will be blamed for making them look like a failure. They will try everything to bring you back, and when that doesn’t work, they’ll work even harder to throw you under the bus. If the marriage was a failure, it must have been your fault. And they’re going to make sure that everyone knows it.
Divorcing a narcissist can be a stressful and unpleasant process!
Join us next time for a look at a few more things your narcissistic spouse won’t be able to handle during the divorce process. Until then, if you’re considering ending your marriage and you know your spouse is going to make it hard for you, be sure to get help from the best. And that’s where we come in. At the Kronzek Firm, our skilled and aggressive family law attorneys have decades of experience handling high conflict divorces and difficult spouses. We know what you’re up against and we can help. Just call 866 766 5245 to set up your free consultation today.