Hi there and welcome back to this blog about starting life over after deciding to get divorced, and what that might look like for you. As we pointed out in the previous article, the very first thing you should do is talk to your attorney. Packing your bags and rushing out the door because you’ve decided to end your marriage may sound like a great idea, but that could backfire on you in all sorts of ways.
Also, figuring out your financial situation and setting a budget for your new life is very important when you’ve decided to get a divorce. And finally, using this time to purge your home and get rid of all those unwanted items collecting dust in the hall closet and under the basement stairs is a great plan. (Please remember though, no to get rid of anything that has sentimental or financial value to your spouse without getting their permission first!) But that’s not all. There are a couple of other things you need to keep in mind.
Before preparing for life after divorce, you should:
4. Gather up all your information
This is a lot. You need to consolidate all of the data your attorney is going to need to proceed with the divorce. Marriage license, birth certificates, banking documents, there is a ton of stuff you may need to round up and hand over. But that’s not all. You’re going to need a lot of info yourself in order to start over when the time comes.
Is your bank account joint? You’re going to need that info in order to start your own independent account. What about your cell phone plan? You’ll need all that data in order to get your own plan. And what about your vehicle loan and your mortgage? Are you and your spouse both on the paperwork? You may need to look into separate insurance for your car, so you’ll need that info as well. There is a lot to do, and you need to be prepared.
5. Figure out your children’s future
This is a big one, folks. If you have kids, you’ll need to start with how and when it’s best to talk to them about the decision to divorce. It’s going to be a tough convo, so be as kind and supportive as possible while they process this change and come to terms with what lies ahead. But that’s not all. You also have other things regarding your kids you need to figure out.
Talk to your spouse about their thoughts on custody and child support. Were you hoping for sole custody, with your spouse getting visitation? Or were you both hoping to play equal roles in your children’s lives, with custody being a relatively equal split down the middle on time spent together and apart? The sooner you figure this out, the better – don’t wait till after you’ve started the divorce to figure this out. If you and your soon-to-be-ex can’t have a civil conversation, talk to your attorney about recommending a mediator to help.
6. Get the support you need to get through this
Divorce is hard, and you’re going to need all the help you can get. Reach out to friends and family. Explain what’s going on, and let them know that you’re going to need help in the coming months as you move through this process. Help with moving, help with daycare, help with emotional support. And on that note…
Consider seeking out a professional therapist to help you work through the emotional and psychological challenges ahead. Divorce is often a time full of frustrations, sorrow, and pain. This can lead to increased anxiety and depression down the road. So if your budget allows for it, some counseling services might make all the difference with regard to how you survive the divorce process emotionally.
This will be a tough time for you, so be sure to get the right help!
Divorce is never an easy process. At best it’s expensive and time consuming. At worst it can be a long, stressful and emotionally draining endeavor that leaves you angry, heartbroken, and working to overcome significant emotional damage. Either way, you shouldn’t try to tackle this without a skilled team of family law experts.
Here at The Kronek Firm, our experienced divorce attorneys have helped countless people from all over mid-Michigan with every part of their divorces. From property separation and alimony, to child support and custody issues, we’ve done it all, and done it well. So if you live in central Michigan, and you’re considering ending your marriage and starting over, call 866 766 5245 today. We’re here to help, before, during, or after.