Everyone knows divorce is hard. You and your soon-to-be-ex are parting ways, and it usually isn’t a friendly process. There are assets and debts to be divided, custody schedules to figure out if you have kids, and often a history of heartbreak to work through. It’s not on anyone’s top ten ‘most fun things to do as a family’ list. So just imagine how much more awful the process is when your spouse hires a monster as their divorce attorney?

Divorce attorneys have different styles

Divorce attorneys are people, which means each one is a little different. And how they conduct business will differ from attorney to attorney. Things like how they approach sensitive issues, how they handle conflict, and how they treat other people will all be affected by the kind of person they are. And if they’re an abrasive, accusatory person, then you can bet they’ll be really hard to work with. Both for you, and for your attorney.

Mean, scary attorneys know they’re mean and scary!

Chances are, if your spouse’s attorney is mean and scary, they know it. And they probably use it to their advantage. How? Because many people don’t like conflict, so they’re more likely to give in to ridiculous demands in order to avoid all-out screaming matches, public shaming, and vicious insults. It’s a tactic certain divorce attorneys use to try and get better deals for their clients. Essentially manipulating the situation in their client’s favor by intimidating the opposition. (This is a good example of why you need an experienced divorce attorney who doesn’t take crap from bullies!)

So what do you do about it?

In truth there is nothing you can do to change your spouse’s attorney. However, you do have control over how you react to their bullying. So here are a few points to remember when dealing with your spouse’s unpleasant divorce lawyer:

• It’s not personal!

Don’t let their insults and threats affect how you feel about yourself or what you deserve. They treat ALL of their client’s spouses like that – it has nothing to do with you personally. So try hard to ignore the barbs, and let your attorney handle as much of the direct contact with them as possible!

• Don’t stoop to their level!

It’s critical to get a good attorney who will aggressively pursue a fair settlement for you, and fight in favor of reasonable custody and alimony agreements. But there’s a huge difference between being professionally adamant, and being a ranting, finger-pointing maniac. Don’t resort to the same low blows and childish name-calling your spouse’s attorney uses as tactics. Chances are, the judge will see the abuse your spouse’s lawyer slings at you as exactly that – and rule in your favor!

• Don’t let them get away with unethical behavior

Some attorneys rant and rave during meetings, making empty threats about motions they’re going to file to complicate the process if you don’t agree to their demands. It can be annoying and unpleasant to deal with. But there’s a huge difference between acting out to get your way, and unethical behavior.

If your spouse’s attorney tells lies about you in court, discuss the option of sanctions with your attorney. Because while you can’t sue for slanderous comments made in court, or printed in court documents, it’s against the law for an attorney to make statements that are:

1) materially false; or

2) unsupported by law or

3) not advanced as a reasonable extension of existing law

As attorney Brandy Thompson points out, “I always tell my clients that the ONLY person who can make “Orders” is the court. We do not let the spouse or the spouse’s attorney dictate our behavior or case results. Sometimes we can reach a compromise or agreement without a hearing or trial before a judge, but it’s not based on bullying or scare tactics, but rather the best interests of our clients.”

Has your spouse hired a terrifying attorney for your divorce?

The kind of attorney you choose will make all the difference to how your divorce process works out. If your spouse hires a lion and you hire a mouse, you can imagine how well that will work out for you. So make sure you choose an attorney who has years of experience, gets loads of great reviews from past clients, and isn’t intimidated by the opposing counsel’s bullying tactics. In other words, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245 and talk to a skilled family lawyer who can help you achieve great results, regardless of how difficult the situation may be.