What If We Can’t Afford To Live Apart After The Divorce? (Pt 3)

Getting divorced, but can’t leave because you’re trapped by financial problems? You’re not alone.


Welcome back and thanks for joining us again for the wrap up on this discussion about living together after divorce. As we’ve pointed out, very few divorced couples choose to live together after they get divorced, it’s usually financial situations that force them to keep on living together, even after their marriages have ended.


Although our struggling economy is actually on the mend, and the current unemployment rate is very low, people are still faced with economic hardships every day. And divorce can compound issues, putting people in situations where they are forced to live in ways that they wouldn’t otherwise choose. Still, there are ways to make this challenging time as easy as possible for both of you. So let’s pick up where we left off last time, with child care.


The issue of child custody will be very challenging.


Usually when a couple divorces, the issue of child care is dealt with in the custody agreement. When the divorcing couple doesn’t part ways, however, the issue of custody doesn’t hold quite the same weight as it would in a more conventional post-divorce setting. So how do you handle this? Let’s start with your custody agreement.


If you have a custody agreement that went into effect with the divorce, it’ll have to play a role in how you work out your child care arrangements. Obviously, if one parent was given sole custody while the other was granted visitation, this would translate into the way you live your daily life. The parent with visitation could take the children to the park, or out for ice-cream, on days that would have been their visitation days. This has the added benefit of giving the parent with sole custody an occasional break.


Split custody between two parent living together is hard


If custody is split between both of you, you and your ex will need to figure out days that each of you takes responsibility for the needs of the children. Things like dropping off and picking up the kids after school, preparing snacks, and driving them to extra-curricular activities or friend’s homes, are all responsibilities that the “on-duty” parent will need to manage. This should also mean being available at home on your “on-duty” nights, so that your ex is free to go out on their nights “off-duty”.


Remember that it will take time for your children to get the hang of this split schedule. Having to learn to ask dad for help when mom is right there, and they’re used to asking her, might make the process more challenging at first. Be patient with them while they adjust. Also, consider using visual reminders, like signs, to jog their memories. The sign could say something like “Today is mom’s day!” or “All day: daddy day!”


Divorce presents a host of different challenges for each family.


Getting divorced is hard, no matter what your situation is. For couples whose finances are tight, it can be even more of a challenge. So let our skilled and experienced family law attorneys help you work through this difficult period in life, and plan for a future that is better and brighter! Call us at 866 766 5245, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help.