Welcome back, and thanks for joining us again. We’ve been talking about dating after divorce, and how it can be very scary, especially when you’re faced with the thought of introducing your kids to your new romantic interest. But there are ways to make the process easier, and things you can do to make it less stressful for yourself AND your children!
Your kids will have concerns, and that’s okay…
You need to know that your children may have some very real concerns about your new relationship. So you’ll need to reassure them lovingly while they adjust to the changes, which can be challenging for both of you. But what are these concerns, exactly? Well, they can be all kinds of things. Here are a couple of the most common ones:
- First and foremost, many children harbor a secret hope that their parents will get back together after a divorce, and your dating will crush that dream. So they may be initially resistant to anyone you bring home as a potential love interest. This could translate into anger, resentment, rejection, and acting out. Be patient and give them time to process the reality.
- They may also be concerned that you won’t be available to spend time with them. Children don’t like having to share their parents with people they view as interlopers, and this may be more of an issue when they’re still processing feelings of loss and rejection from the divorce. Reassure them regularly that you still love them, and remember, actions speak louder than words! The best way to put their fears to rest is to intentionally carve out regular time to do things with your children that don’t include your new partner.
Slow and steady wins the race…
Go slowly. Experts agree that the first few meetings should be done in a group setting. This will reduce awkwardness, and provide opportunities for your children to watch you and your partner interact at a comfortable distance. Whether it’s a picnic with friends, or a multi-family gathering, keep it informal and unforced the first few times.
It may also be good to tell your ex that you’ll be introducing your children to a new partner. It’ll be infinitely better for your ex to hear about your new relationship from you, than from your kids! Also, it’s respectful. Remember, these are their children too.
So while it may be frightening, know that you’re not alone and that many, many people have gone on to find fulfilling relationships after divorce. If you take it slowly, and be honest and respectful and patient, both with your children and with your new partner, this transition will likely be a lot less scary than you think.
Life after divorce can be challenging!
Parenting is challenging, and for divorced parents, it can be a wild ride! So when you’re up against post-divorce parenting issues, like modifying your custody agreement, or changing visitation schedules, be sure to get help from some of Mid-Michigan’s most respected family law attorneys. At The Krozek Firm we’ve helped countless people navigate the divorce process we can help you too! So call 866 766 5245 and talk to a skilled family lawyer today!