Welcome back and thanks for joining us. In the previous article we talked about narcissists in a divorce situation, and a few things your average narcissistic spouse won’t take kindly to during the divorce process (specifically rejection, shame and guilt, and failure.) But those certainly aren’t the only things narcissists have a hard time with – there are quite a few situations that can bring out the worst in them. And during a divorce, you often get to see all the colors on that ugly narcissistic rainbow. So let’s check out a few more you need to be prepared for.
The average narcissist uses an arsenal of tricks and tactics to keep their partner under their thumb, and to convince the rest of the world that they’re a good person. They know exactly when to turn on the charm, when to cry, when to play the victim, and when to make up stories to gain sympathy and adoration. So when you expose their lies, making them look bad in front of others, they’re going to be extremely angry. Narcissists thrive on creating a false front for the world and hiding who they really are behind it. If you tear down their walls and expose them and their falsehoods, you’re in for a rough rise. And divorce can do that
There’s very little a narcissist hates more than not being the center of attention. They thrive on being loved and adored, and when they can’t get that fix, they’ll take whatever is available instead. In other words, they’ll take your fear and shame and sadness and anger. Because those things are better than nothing. ‘Nothing’ is simply not an option. Narcissists can’t function when their emotional desires aren’t being met, and being ignored cuts them off from their “supply”. So if you’re going to ignore your narcissistic spouse when they act out during the divorce process, know that you’re going to come up against a wall of rage, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better!
Another emotion narcissists can’t stand is gratitude. Why? Because gratitude implies that you did something nice for them and now they owe you. And narcissists are not okay with owing anyone anything, because it takes away their sense of control. A narcissist wants to have power over others. They want to be at the top of the heap, and owing things to people, being in someone’s debt, strips them of that feeling of complete control. So if you’re reasonable in your alimony requests, or are willing to compromise on the custody schedule you want, don’t expect any gratitude. Because you won’t get any.
Divorcing a narcissist may be the hardest thing you ever do!
This is not going to be an easy process. If your spouse is a narcissist, then you have a battle on your hands, and it’s going to be a very bumpy ride. Which is why you’re going to need a consummate professional with a lot of experience on your team, working to keep your rights at the forefront of the divorce process, and making sure you don’t get railroaded. So if you’re looking to divorce your spouse, and you’re pretty sure they’re a narcissist, call 866 766 5245 today and schedule your free consultation. We can be with you every step of the way.