Welcome back and thanks for joining us. The subject of divorce and how it affects the holidays can be a painful one, especially for people who’ve recently become single, and those who will be spending the holidays without their kids for the first time. It can be really hard, and we understand that. But we also know that despite the pain you’re going through this holiday season, it’s still possible to create happy memories and have some fun. (At least for part of the time.) However, as we mentioned in the previous article, a lot of that depends on the perspective you chose to take. And if you need a little help along the way, here are a few pointers…
Tips for surviving your first Christmas after a divorce:
- Money can’t buy happiness, so don’t break the bank looking for joy!
Sure, kids love getting gifts, and if there were certain special items they were hoping for, they’ll be overjoyed to get them, there’s no doubt about that. But there’s a difference between buying your kids some special gifts to mark the season, and breaking the bank to compensate for the guilt you feel because Christmas “just isn’t the same this year.” Children want love and attention far more than ‘things’ anyway. So keep your Christmas shopping within a reasonable budget, only spend what you can afford, and lavish your kids with time and attention instead. They’ll appreciate it a LOT more than those extra toys that they’ll only play with twice before breaking.
- Don’t use unhealthy “replacements” to fill the void
When something is missing in life, it’s human nature to want to fill the void with something else that feels good. Or at least, feels better than emptiness. But that can be a dangerous decision. Using food, sex, alcohol or drugs to cover up your feelings of pain and loss will only make more problems for you down the line. Divorce can leave the holiday season feeling meaningless and depressing, especially for the first few years. But there are healthy ways to process that pain that don’t have long term negative consequences. If you are struggling emotionally this Christmas, reach out and ask a loved one, or even a professional for help working through your grief.
- Be mindful of your expectations!
One of the fastest ways to feel unfulfilled and “let down” is to have unrealistic expectations. If you go into the Christmas season harboring hopes that you’ll have the best holidays ever, chances are you’ll end up disappointed. Same goes for entertaining the idea that you and your ex will get back together, or that you’ll magically meet your next heartthrob while ice skating around the Christmas tree (Hallmark movie anyone?). For the same reason that it isn’t advisable to make new year’s resolutions, we recommend that you focus on healthy, attainable goals, and be mindful to keep your expectations realistic. You’ll end up much happier in the long run.
If you’re unhappy with your custody agreement this holiday season…
One of the most common complaints we hear from divorced people during the holidays (especially if this is their first Christmas after the divorce), is that they don’t see enough of their kids, and they want more time. Whether it’s the parenting time schedule they want to change, or the custody agreement they believe is unfair, we want you to know that there are options. If you need help this holiday season, whether it’s with divorce, parenting time, or custody, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245. Our experienced family lawyers are standing by to help. We’re available 24/7, including on holidays.